IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

It is generally accepted that families are not as close as they used to be. Give some reasons why this change has happened and suggest how families could be brought closer together. Include any relevant examples from your experience.

#families #change
In
this
 new era of busy and fast-paced
life
,
people
 want to reach the zenith of success by hook or by crook. Everyone in our society is part of
this
 race, to win
this
 , they are working from down to dusk. By doing so ,
people
 are not as close as they were used to be with their loved once. I would like to discuss some key reasons behind
this
 and provide suggestions to overcome
this
 problem.
To begin
 with,
people
 wants to increase their financial status, so that they can get a luxurious
life
. Based on the individual's interest , they start migrating to other cities or countries to achieve these goals. To exemplify , In my home country "India" ,
people
 from rural areas started migrating towards the urban areas in the search of work but, due to financial issues, they won't be able to take all the family members with them .
Also
 , city
life
 attracts
people
 towards it so
people
 like to spend weekends with their friends
instead
 of visiting their family. Whereas, in golden days, family values was the most important thing in once
life
 as well as
people
 were happy and satisfied with their earnings. Nowadays, children
also
 started migrating to other countries for better education.
Hence
, they get busy in studies and exploring new places as a consequence of
this
, they are not getting enough time to talk to their parents.
However
,
people
 are so busy in their
life
 , technology is helping us to bring our family together.
For example
, multiple videos calling apps
such
 as zoom, WhatsUp , Instagram is available to connect with your loved once. In "India" , the government is working on to provide free WiFi throughout the country so
people
 can connect with each other easily. Other than
this
, the government should
also
 focus on developing rural areas and provide more work facilities so
people
 will not need to move to the city.
Moreover
 , It is
also
 both parents and children's responsibilities to manage their time and maintain communication with each other
hence
 , they will not lose their emotional values. To conclude ,
people
 need to learn how they can balance their professional and personal
life
.
In addition
 , the government should
also
 pay attention to develop villages so
people
 can get their dream job in their area.
Submitted by pragnapatel027 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • family interactions
  • technological advancements
  • virtual interactions
  • dual-income households
  • urbanization
  • migration
  • social structures
  • individualism
  • family cohesiveness
  • belonging
  • open communication
  • emotional support
  • shared activities
  • family dynamics
  • work-life balance
  • family traditions
  • regular gatherings
  • counseling
  • family therapy
  • prioritizing family time
What to do next:
Look at other essays: