modern lifestyle mean that many parents have little time for their children.many children suffer because they do not get as much attention from their parents as children did in the past.

Nowadays
parents
are busier in their professional
life
and spend very less time with their
children
's. Because of
this
many pupils are suffering from various issues. The youngsters of the modern
generation
are facing more problem compared to the past
generation
. I totally agree with the above-given notion. In
this
,essay we will discuss, how
this
trend is affecting our present
generation
.
To begin
, we are living in a global village where most of the people have a hectic schedule.
Firstly
due to an increase in the workload of jobs, most of the caretaker doesn't spare their times with their
children
's.
This
causes a detrimental effect on one child's lifestyle. Pupil needed their
parents
most during his/her developmental period. For making a kid a good citizen it's very important for
parents
to spend time with their
children
and teach them morals and good values of the society. Isolating
children
often end up resulting in a kid having bad manners. Our nation develops when our youth has been shaped well by their
parents
.
Secondly
,
also
in
this
,
generation
there is an increase in a nuclear family. Because of ,
this
there is no elder living in the home who can substitute the role of parent. While in the past, as there are more joint family, even if
parents
get involved in their restless
life
, the elder people in the house teach
children
about good habits and help them to become an ideal citizen. The only solution for
this
serious issue is that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

show examples
even
parents
have their stress
life
, they should always spend their free time with their
children
's. It's better for both societies as well as for their pupil development. To sum up,
parents
should give more priority to their
children
's over their frenetic
life
. It's an essential part of
children
life
. Isolating
children
may hamper their development and
also
affects the society in future.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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