IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

n Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#n #britain #someone #home #people #nurses #government #care
Most of the
people
 in Britain shift into old
age
 home after getting old where health care workers look over the.
Such
 old
age
homes
 are funded by the
government
. Some
people
 may argue that it's not a responsibility of authority to fund
such
 old-
age
homes
. In my ,opinion the
government
 should help with
such
 old-
age
homes
 and I totally disagree with the above-given argument. In
this
 ,
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
essay I will place the reason and my opinion towards
this
 notion.
Firstly
, due to the increase in the nuclear family, there is an increase of migrating elder
people
 towards old
age
homes
. Children's after getting independent left their parents alone. There is an increase in
this
 trend in the
last
 few decades. ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
Secondly
 many old
people
 don't have children's so after getting old , there is no one to supervise them. So because of these reasons elderly folks move to old
age
homes
 to stay with other
people
. All the elderly
people
 in their young
age
 had given taxes to the national authorities. So during the old
age
 period taking care of
such
 a community and helping them should be the key role of the
government
. Adults children have a primary role in taking care of their parents. But
this
 doesn't mean that
government
 should neglect
such
 oldage community.
This
people
 once were the ideal citizen of the nation. So it's
government
 responsibility too to look over old
age
people
 by raising funds or by making more old-
age
homes
. To conclude, the
government
 plays an important role in raising money for old-
age
people
. As
this
 community are the most respectful and were once taxpayer of the society, the
government
 can't neglect them.
Submitted by djsayyed98 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: