IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The rising levels of congestion and air pollution found in most of the world cities can be attributed directly to the rapidly increasing number of private cars in use. In order to reverse this decline in quality of life in cities, attempts must be made to encourage people to use their cars less and public transport more. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#levels #congestion #air #pollution #world #cities #cars #decline #quality #life #attempts #people #transport
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days,
air
pollution
 is a shared social problem and one of the causes is carbon dioxide emission from private cars. In order to break through
this
 situation, advocating for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less use of individual vehicles is significant.
However
, overall, using bus lines and metro
also
 have some disadvantages;
therefore
, I slightly disagree with the statement.
This
 essay will discuss in more detail
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
why I do not strongly agree with the statement.
Firstly
,
public
Add an article
the public
a public
show examples
 transfer is less accessible than privately owned automobiles. While the motor cars can be ridden by all of the people provided they have
license
Add an article
a license
show examples
, subways or railways require to live near the stations. In fact, a multitude of people who live in rural areas cannot live without their own carriages. As stations of bus or train are unequally distributed between different regions, supporting public transport will be difficult.
Secondly
, the ability to carry passengers is limited. Even if the
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
show examples
 succeeds in convincing people to use public conveyance, since its capacity is deficient, the attempt would not accomplish. The measures by the governments might be demanded;
however
,
this
 would not be the most ideal plan given that the result of
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
 of more public transportation is ambiguous.
Lastly
, the presence of a substitute means to reduce
air
pollution
. Because overuse of vehicles is not a solitary cause of
air
pollution
, there must be some other way to solve the problem.
For example
, planting trees or using sustainable energy sources could
also
 be the methods to prevent
air
pollution
. In conclusion, the flaws of public transport
such
 as inaccessibility or limited potential to convey passengers, and the existence of alternative processes to avert
air
pollution
 are the reasons for dissent to the statement.
Submitted by dokmally2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: