IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that develop the mind, such as reading and doing crossword puzzles. Others feel that it is important to give one’s mind a rest in leisure time. Discuss.

#people #leisure #time #activities #mind #crossword #puzzles #one’s #rest
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Opinions are divided as to whether doing
activities
Use synonyms
 in
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 crucial in everyday life
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 the mind
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
better. Despite the fact that some
people
Use synonyms
 need to rest in
Use synonyms
leisure
Correct pronoun usage
their leisure
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 to recover from the stress of
problematic
Correct article usage
a problematic
show examples
 workplace. In my opinion, I spend
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 doing
activities
Use synonyms
 that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
improves
Correct subject-verb agreement
improve
show examples
 my mental
health
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
 , individuals have
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 way
to decide
Change preposition
of deciding
show examples
 what they want in their
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
. There are a lot of advantages to
do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
 in
free
Correct pronoun usage
your free
show examples
time
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, some
activities
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 make brain exercises
for example
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 reading, word
puzzle
Fix the agreement mistake
puzzles
show examples
 and board games
such
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 as chess and draughts that
above all
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 appropriate for physical jobs
such
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 as builders, doctors and teachers.
Furthermore
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, brain exercises reinforce mental
health
Use synonyms
 and critical thinking.
Therefore
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,
people
Use synonyms
 easily become better
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 working.
Secondly
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, to some extent, office
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
 should do some
activities
Use synonyms
 to support physical exercises for instance going to the gym, swimming and playing badminton.These sports improve physical
health
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 , including
firm
Correct article usage
a firm
show examples
 body and circulation system.That’s why it is important to use
leisure
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 for
activities
Use synonyms
 that make you better
health
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who are overloaded
work
Change preposition
with work
show examples
 believe that resting enough in
spare
Correct pronoun usage
their spare
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 is necessary for
brain
Correct article usage
the brain
show examples
 and mind because spending
time
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
resting will decrease stress from work.
Moreover
Linking Words
, resting can prevent
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 from mental disorders
such
Linking Words
 as watching
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
 or getting a massage ,aromatherapy,. All of these give relaxation for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. Personally,
people
Use synonyms
 have
appropriable
Correct word choice
appropriate
show examples
 way for each person
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
who are busy and
overload
Replace the word
overloaded
show examples
work
Change preposition
with work
show examples
 should relax
yourself
Remove the pronoun
apply
show examples
and who
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
 demand physical strength and stress on
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 should do some
activities
Use synonyms
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, even though some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that in free
time
Use synonyms
 should do
activities
Use synonyms
, others think that resting and relaxing enough is important.In my opinion,
people
Use synonyms
 should choose the best way for individuals.
Submitted by zomprazong39 on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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