Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that develop the mind, such as reading and doing crossword puzzles. Others feel that it is important to give one’s mind a rest in leisure time. Discuss.

Opinions are divided as to whether doing
activities
in
leisure
time
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
crucial in everyday life
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
the mind
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
better. Despite the fact that some
people
need to rest in
leisure
Correct pronoun usage
their leisure
show examples
time
to recover from the stress of
problematic
Correct article usage
a problematic
show examples
workplace. In my opinion, I spend
leisure
time
doing
activities
that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
improves
Correct subject-verb agreement
improve
show examples
my mental
health
.
Moreover
, individuals have
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
way
to decide
Change preposition
of deciding
show examples
what they want in their
leisure
time
. There are a lot of advantages to
do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
activities
in
free
Correct pronoun usage
your free
show examples
time
.
Firstly
, some
activities
make brain exercises
for example
reading, word
puzzle
Fix the agreement mistake
puzzles
show examples
and board games
such
as chess and draughts that
above all
appropriate for physical jobs
such
as builders, doctors and teachers.
Furthermore
, brain exercises reinforce mental
health
and critical thinking.
Therefore
,
people
easily become better
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
working.
Secondly
, to some extent, office
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
should do some
activities
to support physical exercises for instance going to the gym, swimming and playing badminton.These sports improve physical
health
, including
firm
Correct article usage
a firm
show examples
body and circulation system.That’s why it is important to use
leisure
time
for
activities
that make you better
health
.
On the contrary
,
people
who are overloaded
work
Change preposition
with work
show examples
believe that resting enough in
spare
Correct pronoun usage
their spare
show examples
time
is necessary for
brain
Correct article usage
the brain
show examples
and mind because spending
time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
resting will decrease stress from work.
Moreover
, resting can prevent
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
from mental disorders
such
as watching
movie
Fix the agreement mistake
movies
show examples
or getting a massage ,aromatherapy,. All of these give relaxation for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. Personally,
people
have
appropriable
Correct word choice
appropriate
show examples
way for each person
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
who are busy and
overload
Replace the word
overloaded
show examples
work
Change preposition
with work
show examples
should relax
yourself
Remove the pronoun
apply
show examples
and who
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
demand physical strength and stress on
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
should do some
activities
.
To sum up
, even though some
people
believe that in free
time
should do
activities
, others think that resting and relaxing enough is important.In my opinion,
people
should choose the best way for individuals.
Submitted by zomprazong39 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: