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Band 7

The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #funds #services
The expenditure of a nation is of interest to many, as it greatly determines the progression of the economy.
Furthermore
, some people argue that the money expended on
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
exhibitions and musical shows should be diverted to more profitable ventures
such
 as health care and
education
. I am inclined to agree wholesomely with the latter sentiment as the pillars of society rest on the well-being and knowledge strength of the population. One key area of the economy that requires funds is health.In ,Korea one of the major problems that affect the population is illness
such
 as the pox virus, particularly in the elderly,
this
 causes the mortality rate to be high.
Furthermore
, when more funds are invested into areas
such
 as research and development of vaccines that will boost immunity to sickness ,
this
 will go a long way to persevere the health of the people, and poses more benefits when compared to musical concerts. Another sector that requires the attention of the government is
education
. Research from Nigeria Today reports that aside from infrastructure, a major dent in the growth of Nigeria is poor quality
education
.
Moreover
, the strength of a nation is easily seen through the interest in
education
. The enlightenment of the population is a more useful way for the government to invest the sweat of taxpayers, as a reduction in ignorance will spur up innovation and creativity required to boost the marketability of a country . To conclude, leaders of society should be prudent with finances. I fully agree that funds disbursed into entertainment are of no benefit to society.
Although
, if
such
 capital is invested in more cogent areas
such
 as hospital and educational infrastructures, it will bode well for the country and yield better returns in the nearest future.
Submitted by shabimichael on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • public services
  • economic benefits
  • mental health
  • well-being
  • equitable access
  • creativity
  • innovation
  • prioritize
  • essential services
  • healthcare
  • education
  • tourism
  • global recognition
  • holistic development
  • mutually exclusive
  • philanthropy
  • subsidize
  • infrastructure
  • socio-economic status
  • altruistic
  • civic engagement
  • aesthetics
  • civic pride
  • utilitarian
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