The availability of entertainment such as video games on handheld devices is harmful to individuals and to the society they live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The advance of entertainment
such
as video
games
on handheld devices is harmful to the recent generation and society living in nowadays. It is indisputable that there are many
news about the negative impacts of Replace the quantifier
much
video
games
, particularly in the behaviors
and lifestyles of the city-dwellers. I believe that there are many different aspects Change the spelling
behaviours
about
handheld Change preposition
of
video
games
.
According to this
point of view, many people
concern that video
games
might be easily addicted by
children and young adult. Verify preposition usage
to
For example
, the students or the workers ahould
pay attention Correct your spelling
should
on
their study or their work but they might spend most of the time on handheld Change the preposition
to
video
games
instread
because Correct your spelling
instead
this
devices are portable and convenient. Change the determiner
these
Futhermore
, sometimes Correct your spelling
Furthermore
this
device can harm to
Change preposition
apply
people
if they have no limit to plays such
as playing while driving or crossing the roads.
On the other hand
, the
entertainment can Correct article usage
apply
provided
happiness to many Change the verb form
provide
people
as well. According to various researchs
show that Correct your spelling
research
researches
games
can reduce stress in people
who work overloaded also
improve the cognitive in young children; thereby handheld video
games
might be a good options
for Correct the article-noun agreement
option
people
who want to play in
outdoors. Change preposition
apply
For example
, the available
of handheld Replace the word
availability
games
can encourage childern
to go out with their families rather than distract themselves fromCorrect your spelling
children
the
family events and make sure that they will not bored. Remove the article
apply
Other
benefit is Change the wording
Another
video
game do not required
any internet signals so you can play in Change the verb form
require
offline
mode Add an article
an offline
such
as when you are on the
plane.
In conclusion, there are various pros and cons of handheld videogames. I believe that it depends on the situations and conditions that how well Correct article usage
a
of
the management ways to deal with Change preposition
apply
this
entertainment devices.Change the determiner
these
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite