Some people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for top athletes. Other people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for everybody. Discuss both views

#people #government #money #sport #facilities #athletes #everybody

The question

whether

Change preposition

of whether

show examples

governments should provide more monetary support on fitness facilities for professional

atheles

Correct your spelling

athletes

or for ordinary people has sparked a hot controversy in public.

This

essay is going to throw

Remove the article

apply

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light on both views of spending governments

budeget

Correct your spelling

budget

. On the one hand, It is

unanle

Correct your spelling

unable

to deny that investing money for

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

structures for everybody.

First

, the citizens would improve their health than ever before due to the fact that they are approved of using fitness

equipments

Change the wording

equipment

types of equipment

pieces of equipment

show examples

provided by the government.

As a result

, the improvement of the population‘s health condition could enhance the country’s

economics

Replace the word

economy

show examples

because they are in full possession of their faculties.

For example

, workers could be motivated to produce more merchandise when they are in a good health condition, which

also

means that there will be more contribution is going to be made

the

Change preposition

to the

show examples

country.

Moreover

, having more opportunities to do exercises will

creat

Correct your spelling

create

show examples

a sporty and healthy

environments

Correct the article-noun agreement

environment

show examples

among

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

so people could have more chances to make friends with others and

also

learn how to build a team while playing sports as well. In fact, both residents and government would take advantages of

this

excution

Correct your spelling

execution

Submitted by hellenkeler3108 on Sat Feb 27 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

194 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for top athletes. Other people think the government should spend more money on sport facilities for everybody. Discuss both views

Include an introduction and conclusion

In this technological era, personal information is stored on computers by many companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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