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Band 3.5

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #arts
Arts is part of the cultural
Heritage
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heritage
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 and development of society. No one can say that there is too much
money
 being spent on it.
Eventhough
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Even though
 art was part of the daily life of the bourgeois it should be at the reach of everyone no despite the stratum.
However
Add a comma
,However
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 people's
money
 should be
use
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used
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 to resolve their
demnads
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demands
.
Money it's
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Money's
show examples
 always the issue when it comes to the constituent's taxes. Cities have their own needs and there is always something to be solved. Politicians often face a
dilema
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dilemma
 on what they should do with the
money
 in order to face
inmediat
Correct your spelling
immediate
 problems. Should they build more facilities for health care and education? or
may
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maybe
show examples
be encourage
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be encouraged
be encouraging
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 programs to reduce pollution and protect the
enviroment
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environment
. Governments have their budgets and agendas. All subjects are important, but ones are more than others. If we put on a scale the basic needs of the people over something
that is
 not primary
nontheless
Correct your spelling
nonetheless
 important, we could agree that the
money
 should be more trouble solving focused. There are alternatives to raise
money
 for artistic activities and keeping the administration
money
 intact for
more
Add an article
a more
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 important topic.
For instance
, using media and sponsorship to raise
money
 for events. In short,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should focus all their
money
 and energy
solving
Change preposition
on solving
show examples
 real problems, equally as they promote extracurricular activities to contribute to the development of society through art.
Submitted by darioclgrs on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enriching society
  • promoting cultural understanding
  • development of talent
  • creative industries
  • economic benefits
  • generate revenue
  • cultural heritage
  • identity
  • prioritize spending
  • needs of the majority
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