IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Doctors recommend that older people should get regular exercise. However, many older people do not take enough exercise. What could be the reasons for this? What can be done to encourage them to take exercise?

#doctors #people #exercise
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
medical practitioners advice senior citizens to do
exercise
Use synonyms
 daily, but grey
people
Use synonyms
 are restricted
themselves
Delete the pronoun
apply
show examples
to follow
this
Linking Words
 trend.
This
Linking Words
 essay sheds light on the possible reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 negative development, like, loss of motivation and fear of injury in older
age
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are many possible measures which should be taken to develop
interest
Use synonyms
 among elders to follow
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
 life.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, one of the chief reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 do not follow daily physical
exercise
Use synonyms
 routine is
sink
Add an article
a sink
the sink
show examples
 of
interest
Use synonyms
. Because, in older
age
Use synonyms
, most of the individuals feel discouraged by their families and feel lonely and lose their
interest
Use synonyms
 to do physical activities.
Moreover
Linking Words
, fear of getting body aches is
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another cause among
masses
Correct article usage
the masses
show examples
. They feel, if they get stuck to
exercise
Use synonyms
 daily, they will get
sprain
Add an article
a sprain
show examples
 or another major injury because in older ages body is not in full strength and more prone to
develope
Correct your spelling
develop
sprain
Correct article usage
a sprain
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, by following health habits, one can easily develop
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
interest
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 exercising regularly. Grey
people
Use synonyms
 should start from walking routine to outside the home
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 so that they could meet with peer groups and share emotions with one another in order to get rid
from
Change the preposition
of
show examples
 boredom which
develop
Change the verb form
develops
show examples
interest
Use synonyms
 from
inner
Add an article
the inner
show examples
 side. Moving
further
Linking Words
, senior citizens should seek physicians help to get an idea about the exercises according to
age
Use synonyms
 groups. So that they will start from
beginning
Add an article
the beginning
show examples
 according to their ability and overcome
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the phobia of getting hurt. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 many doctors suggest
exercise
Use synonyms
 should be an indispensable part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 older
age
Use synonyms
 but most of the folks do not want to see
this
Linking Words
 sunny side because of vivid reasons.oppositely,
people
Use synonyms
 feel young by heart and adopt some suitable physical posters ,
then
Linking Words
 they would encourage themselves to keep their body fit.
Submitted by rajeev kumar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • motivation
  • physical limitations
  • lack of time
  • fear of injury
  • exercise facilities
  • misunderstanding
  • benefits of exercise
  • social support
  • poor health conditions
  • awareness
  • appropriate exercises
  • guidance
  • financial constraints
What to do next:
Look at other essays: