In many countries, teenagers are encouraged to find part-time jobs. Some think this is a good development while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

#countries #teenagers #jobs #think #development

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Number

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A number

The number

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of nations' people have different views about

wether

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whether

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or not to advise

the

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apply

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young adults to

work

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part

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part-time

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time

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. While some people believed it is a

postive

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positive

trend to encourage them to

work

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after

school

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, I would disagree with the view and the adolescents should concentrate on their

study

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first

Linking Words

To begin

Linking Words

with,

some

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in some

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countries

peope

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people

tend to believe that teenagers should start to earn

for

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apply

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their living as early as possible. By working part-

time

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that can

cultive

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cultivate

them to be an independent person. They will be able to pay their own

school

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tuition without family supports.

Furthermore

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, they can

also

Linking Words

gain more essential skill from

work

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such

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as working experiences, team cooperation and more. The

study

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had found that students who do

part

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part-time

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time

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job have

showed

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shown

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the

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matured and

reseponsibility

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responsibility

personality.

Therefore

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, many people think it is

benefitial

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beneficial

for

teeanger

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teenager

teenagers

work

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in their spare

time

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On the other hand

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, I do believe that teenagers should concentrate on their

study

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first

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Firstly

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school

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life has already long enough for students and

somtimes

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sometimes

they

also

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have homework or assessments need to complete. As a student can be count as a

full

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full-time

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time

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job for teenager and

study

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is their priority duty. In some country, the

school

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time

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are

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normally from early morning to late afternoon that

are

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same as a normal worker. If students

are encourage

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are encouraged

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work

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after

school

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that they will have no

time

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to review their lesson from the class or doing their homework. It seems difficult to concentrate during class

time

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apply

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if they

have

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tohave

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spend another energy at

work

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Therefore

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, It could lead to

fail

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failing

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on their exam because they might lack

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apply

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concentrate on

study

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and

tireness

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tiredness

tireless

from

work

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. In conclusion,

although

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encouraging

teenager

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the teenager

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to do

the

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part

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part-time

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time

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job seems to have some benefit to them, I do

believed

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believe

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that student's

prority

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priority

duty

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is to study

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study

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Submitted by Christy's Kitchen on Sat Feb 27 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

313 words

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In many countries, teenagers are encouraged to find part-time jobs. Some think this is a good development while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, many families move overseas for job opportunities. Some people think that this is beneficial for the children of these families while others think children will find it difficult. Discuss both views and give your own

Newspapers have influenced people's idea and opinions. What are the reason for this? Is this a positive or a nagative devlopment?

The plans below show a small theater in 2010, and the same theater in 2012.

Some people say that school should reward students who show the best academic results, while other believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvements. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.