In many countries, teenagers are encouraged to find part-time jobs. Some think this is a good development while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

#countries #teenagers #jobs #think #development

Number

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A number

The number

show examples

of nations' people have different views about

wether

Correct your spelling

whether

show examples

or not to advise

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

young adults to

work

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

. While some people believed it is a

postive

Correct your spelling

positive

trend to encourage them to

work

after

school

, I would disagree with the view and the adolescents should concentrate on their

study

first

To begin

with,

some

Change preposition

in some

show examples

countries

peope

Correct your spelling

people

tend to believe that teenagers should start to earn

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their living as early as possible. By working part-

time

that can

cultive

Correct your spelling

cultivate

them to be an independent person. They will be able to pay their own

school

tuition without family supports.

Furthermore

, they can

also

gain more essential skill from

work

such

as working experiences, team cooperation and more. The

study

had found that students who do

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

job have

showed

Change the verb form

shown

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

matured and

reseponsibility

Correct your spelling

responsibility

personality.

Therefore

, many people think it is

benefitial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

for

teeanger

Correct your spelling

teenager

teenagers

work

in their spare

time

On the other hand

, I do believe that teenagers should concentrate on their

study

first

Firstly

school

life has already long enough for students and

somtimes

Correct your spelling

sometimes

they

also

have homework or assessments need to complete. As a student can be count as a

full

Add a hyphen

full-time

show examples

time

job for teenager and

study

is their priority duty. In some country, the

school

time

are

Change the verb form

show examples

normally from early morning to late afternoon that

are

Change the verb form

show examples

same as a normal worker. If students

are encourage

Change the verb form

are encouraged

show examples

work

after

school

that they will have no

time

to review their lesson from the class or doing their homework. It seems difficult to concentrate during class

time

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

if they

have

Add the particle

tohave

show examples

spend another energy at

work

Therefore

, It could lead to

fail

Change the verb form

failing

show examples

on their exam because they might lack

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

concentrate on

study

and

tireness

Correct your spelling

tiredness

tireless

from

work

. In conclusion,

although

encouraging

teenager

Add an article

the teenager

show examples

to do

the

Correct article usage

show examples

part

Add a hyphen

part-time

show examples

time

job seems to have some benefit to them, I do

believed

Change the verb form

believe

show examples

that student's

prority

Correct your spelling

priority

duty

Change the verb form

is to study

show examples

study

Submitted by Christy's Kitchen on Sat Feb 27 2021

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for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, teenagers are encouraged to find part-time jobs. Some think this is a good development while others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Caring for children is an important thing of the society. It is suggested that all mothers and fathers should be required to take childcare training courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that history has little or nothing to offer, while others say that study the past helps the present. discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Nowadays it is easy to apply for and be given a credit card. However, some people experience problems when they are not able to pay their debt back. In your opinion, do the advantages of credit cards outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries criminal trials in law courts are shown on television so that the general public can watch. Do the advantages of allowing this overweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environment pollution . To what extent do you agree or disagree?