Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree? Which types of workers do you think should benefit from early retirement?

#people #retirement #age #e #g #years #everybody #occupation #workers #pension #benefit

It is considered by a group of

people

that having early retirement should not have an age limit. As there are a few

professions

whoes

Correct your spelling

whose

who's

workers should have the right to get retired if he wants to. I totally agree with

this

statement, as some workers with hard

jobs

of several hours per day must have the

oppurtunity

Correct your spelling

opportunity

of getting early retiral. I will

further

explain more about it in detail. The occupations that require more physical efforts should be encouraged by the government, by introducing early retiral

penssion

Correct your spelling

pension

in it. There are many

professions

that demand excessive physical and mental strength.

Therefore

, individuals that are involved in

such

jobs

easily

gets

Change the verb form

get

show examples

fedup

Correct your spelling

fed up

and needs

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

motivation to continue.

However

, the government can give motivation to

such

people

by allowing them to quit

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

jobs

when ever

Correct your spelling

whenever

show examples

they want and giving pensions.

For example

U.S

Correct article usage

the U.S

show examples

accountability office noted that

people

before their 60's desire to get retire.

This

is because

people

gets

Change the verb form

get

show examples

fedup

Correct your spelling

fed up

from doing immense

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

on daily basis. There are many occupations that

deserves

Change the verb form

deserve

show examples

to get retirement regardless of their age,

however

, I would discuss some of them.

Firstly

, firefighters

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

put their lives at risk to save us, whereas, some of them gets injured many times while removing the fire.

However

, they are not much paid and do not have a chance to get retired before

Add an article

the 60's

show examples

60's

Fix apostrophe usage

'60s

show examples

Secondly

soilders

Correct your spelling

soldiers

that

are consider

Change the verb form

are considered

show examples

as protectors and guards of our nation,

gets

Change the verb form

get

show examples

mostly in trouble while fighting for our lives and saving our country. Some of them

also

loose

Correct your spelling

lose

show examples

their own life and become

martyr

Add an article

a martyr

show examples

Although

, they have there

own

Change the verb form

owned

show examples

family to look after and often gets tired of tough

jobs

that they have to perform. So, it is their right to have the option of getting retirement and have a

penssion

Correct your spelling

pension

passion

when ever

Correct your spelling

whenever

show examples

they want. All in all, It is assumed by a few

people

that having an age bound for

quiting

Correct your spelling

quitting

the job and avail

penssion

Correct your spelling

pension

should not

applied

Change the verb form

apply

be applied

show examples

on all

professions

, as some of them

deserves

Change the verb form

deserve

show examples

to get early retiral. I firmly agree with

this

as many

jobs

accquire

Correct your spelling

acquire

immense hard work and physical strength, which becomes hard for

worker

Add an article

a worker

show examples

to continue.

Therefore

, to motivate

such

workers the government should introduce early retiral for it.

Professions

firefigter

Correct your spelling

firefighter

firefighters

and

soliders

Correct your spelling

soldiers

are hard considerably to other

jobs

therefore

it is their right to have early freedom and a good pension.

Submitted by ALI on Sat Feb 27 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

403 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Sending people to prison is not effective, and other methods such as community work should be supported instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the Internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development in your opinion?

In today’s world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that developments in the field of artificial intelligence will have a positive impact on our lives in the near future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?