IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#sales #consumer #goods #power #society
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
advertisements
Use synonyms
 encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to buy unnecessary
things
Use synonyms
although
Linking Words
 it is not needed. I am going to explain both of
views
Correct article usage
the views
show examples
 and I am going to give my own perspective on the matter. On the one hand, some
people
Use synonyms
 agree with
this
Linking Words
 question because there are a
lot
Use synonyms
 of exaggerated
advertisements
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 kind of
advertisements
Use synonyms
tend
Change the verb form
tends
show examples
 to encourage customers to spend money that they do not need.
This
Linking Words
 is because most companies want to show only good aspects of their
products
Use synonyms
 and services for high sales. Some
people
Use synonyms
 cannot consider the negative sides of a product by seeing these
advertisements
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, my mother sometimes buys the diet
products
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 SNS
such
Linking Words
 as Instagram as
instagram’s
Change the capitalization
Instagram's
show examples
advertisements
Use synonyms
 tend to only emphasize the benefits and positive impacts
although
Linking Words
 it has some side effects.
In addition
Linking Words
, some
advertisements
Use synonyms
 include
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visual and auditory elements so that a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 are attracted by it if it has more and more strong music and
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
. For my friend, she tends to buy
products
Use synonyms
 that have unique and fresh factors into
advertisements
Use synonyms
 since she often feels
cuority
Correct your spelling
quality
curiosity
clarity
 about uncommon
things
Use synonyms
. And even she
Use synonyms
don’t
Change the verb form
doesn’t
show examples
 consider the value of
products
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I think
advertisements
Use synonyms
don’t
Use synonyms
 encourage excessive consumption.
This
Linking Words
 is because nowadays, a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 tend to search for information
of
Verify preposition usage
about
on
show examples
products
Use synonyms
 and services that they want to buy in advance. They
don’t
Use synonyms
 believe only
Use synonyms
advertisements
Change preposition
in advertisements
show examples
 as they realize that a
lot
Use synonyms
 of
advertisements
Use synonyms
 may illustrate advantages for the outcome of the company.
For instance
Linking Words
, I search for negative and positive information on the internet if I want to buy something.
This
Linking Words
 is because I think I can make the same money by not buying unnecessary
things
Use synonyms
. It is important
for
Verify preposition usage
to
show examples
 me. What is more, some countries prohibit exaggerated and false
advertisements
Use synonyms
 for the reason of encouraging
over spending
Correct your spelling
overspending
show examples
. With these advertising policies,
people
Use synonyms
 can receive accurate information and consume reasonably. To sum up, some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
advertisements
Use synonyms
 encourage
people
Use synonyms
 to buy something excessively as
advertisements
Use synonyms
 tend to show only pros.
However
Linking Words
, I strongly believe that advertisement
Use synonyms
don’t
Change the verb form
doesn’t
show examples
 tempt
people
Use synonyms
 to purchase unnecessary
things
Use synonyms
 since these days some
people
Use synonyms
 search
Change preposition
for informations
show examples
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
products
Use synonyms
 before buying them and some governments ban exaggerated and false
advertisements
Use synonyms
 for reasonable consumption
Submitted by lanysstudio on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer behavior
  • perceived need
  • lifestyle aspirations
  • brand image
  • prestige
  • psychological techniques
  • scarcity
  • social proof
  • celebrity endorsements
  • technological advancements
  • product innovations
  • emerging consumer needs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: