IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort. To what extent do you agree with? How do you think space exploration will change in the future? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#people #space #exploration #pride #effort #change #future
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In
ancient
Correct article usage
the ancient
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 century, fire-lighting has been found by the early man. It is kind of big invention
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 brings
the
Correct article usage
a
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 huge impact throughout the world. But now,
people
Use synonyms
 who explore
the
Correct article usage
apply
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space
Use synonyms
 is
a
Change the article
apply
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common in our life, it has been argued that
people
Use synonyms
 going outer
space
Use synonyms
 have had more to do with national pride than international effort. In my mind,
people
Use synonyms
 who explore the
space
Use synonyms
 have been made their nationality proud of them because they brought their
country
Use synonyms
 flag which fluttered in
space
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. Now, let’s discuss
this
Linking Words
 essay. Since
people
Use synonyms
 know about technology, they try to develop their knowledge about all of science without exception they are looking for something new in outer
space
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. Neil Elden Armstrong was an American astronaut and the
first
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 person to walk on the Moon.
In
Change preposition
On
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 July 21th 1969, they landed on the Moon
then
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 he put the American flag
in
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on
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 the surface of the Moon. From that moment, America has been well-known as the Superpower
Country
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 which has advance technology to send
the
Correct article usage
apply
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man
explore
Add the particle
to explore
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 outside Earth.
People
Use synonyms
 who journey into outer
space
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 make their
country
Use synonyms
 really proud of them because they show to throughout the world how great their
country
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.
Then
Linking Words
, it could be national prestige which is no other countries have
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some may argue that
space
Use synonyms
 exploration has had
international
Add an article
an international
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 effort. Even if the United States alone is fully capable of going to Mars, it has no reason to make
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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an
Correct article usage
apply
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isolated. It is enough for
United
Correct article usage
the United
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 States to be open to
work
Change the verb form
working
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 with other nations not only for even higher efficiency but
also
Linking Words
 for a share of excitement and benefits with everyone on the earth. To sum up, Astronaut who succeeded travel outer
space
Use synonyms
 will
brings
Change the verb form
bring
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 prestigious impression about their
country
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
, the nations of the world must move toward
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cooperation in
space
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 exploration will be an ideal approach as we do not have any national border.
Then
Linking Words
, high technology will make
easier
Correct pronoun usage
it easier
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Use synonyms
people
Change preposition
for people
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 on Earth
to
Change the verb form
apply
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have
journey
Correct article usage
a journey
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outer
Change preposition
in outer
show examples
space
Use synonyms
 and it will get well-known in the future.
Submitted by anjelika-mama on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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