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Band 4

Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort. To what extent do you agree with? How do you think space exploration will change in the future? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#people #space #exploration #pride #effort #change #future
In
ancient
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the ancient
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 century, fire-lighting has been found by the early man. It is kind of big invention
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 brings
the
Correct article usage
a
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 huge impact throughout the world. But now,
people
 who explore
the
Correct article usage
apply
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space
 is
a
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apply
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common in our life, it has been argued that
people
 going outer
space
 have had more to do with national pride than international effort. In my mind,
people
 who explore the
space
 have been made their nationality proud of them because they brought their
country
 flag which fluttered in
space
. Now, let’s discuss
this
 essay. Since
people
 know about technology, they try to develop their knowledge about all of science without exception they are looking for something new in outer
space
. Neil Elden Armstrong was an American astronaut and the
first
 person to walk on the Moon.
In
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On
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 July 21th 1969, they landed on the Moon
then
 he put the American flag
in
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on
show examples
 the surface of the Moon. From that moment, America has been well-known as the Superpower
Country
 which has advance technology to send
the
Correct article usage
apply
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man
explore
Add the particle
to explore
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 outside Earth.
People
 who journey into outer
space
 make their
country
 really proud of them because they show to throughout the world how great their
country
.
Then
, it could be national prestige which is no other countries have
it
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apply
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.
On the other hand
, some may argue that
space
 exploration has had
international
Add an article
an international
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 effort. Even if the United States alone is fully capable of going to Mars, it has no reason to make
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
an
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apply
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isolated. It is enough for
United
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the United
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 States to be open to
work
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working
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 with other nations not only for even higher efficiency but
also
 for a share of excitement and benefits with everyone on the earth. To sum up, Astronaut who succeeded travel outer
space
 will
brings
Change the verb form
bring
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the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 prestigious impression about their
country
.
Although
, the nations of the world must move toward
the
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apply
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cooperation in
space
 exploration will be an ideal approach as we do not have any national border.
Then
, high technology will make
easier
Correct pronoun usage
it easier
show examples
people
Change preposition
for people
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 on Earth
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
have
journey
Correct article usage
a journey
show examples
outer
Change preposition
in outer
show examples
space
 and it will get well-known in the future.
Submitted by anjelika-mama on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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