IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people prefer activities and lifestyle in hot climate while others prefer activities and lifestyle in cold climate. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #activities #lifestyle #climate
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There are various
activities
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 and
lifestyles
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 in different
climate
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 nowadays. Some
people
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 prefer hot
weather
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 while others prefer cold. It is a tendency that
activities
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 and
lifestyles
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 in
people
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 are individual preferences.
However
Linking Words
, the
activities
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 and
lifestyles
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 in each
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places
Change to a singular noun
place
show examples
are depend
Change the verb form
depend
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 on the
climate
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 in
that
Change the determiner
those
show examples
regions
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 as well. According to
this
Linking Words
 point of view, the
activities
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 and
lifestyles
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 of
people
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 in each
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regions
Change to a singular noun
region
show examples
are quite vary
Change the verb form
quite vary
show examples
 because it needs to adapt
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
climate
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on
Change preposition
in
show examples
that
Change the determiner
those
show examples
places
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, the benefits of hot
climate
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regions
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 can offer
people
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
swimming or
sun bathing
Correct your spelling
sunbathing
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. Warming air can lead to the tropical forest and it can be sources of the local plants and vegetables
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
that
Change the determiner
those
show examples
regions
Use synonyms
 for local
people
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 to consume it as well.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
people
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 who live in the cold
weather
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 have
activities
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 and
lifestyles
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 in
an opposite ways
Correct the article-noun agreement
opposite ways
an opposite way
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, they couldn’t go swim in outdoor pools unlike
people
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 who live in hot
weather
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 but they can play the snowboards in the winter or do some exclusive hike in the snow mountains. Their eating
lifestyles
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 are changes by the
weather
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 due to the different crops in each
seasons
Change to a singular noun
season
show examples
 as well.
However
Linking Words
, the advance globalization has led to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
convenience
Verify preposition usage
ofconvenience
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 travelling.
People
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 can visit any
places
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 around the world.
This
Linking Words
 can bring
people
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 who live in
hot
Add an article
a hot
show examples
climate
Use synonyms
 to experiences
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
activities
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 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cold
climate
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places
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 easier than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 past. The same ways as the cold
climate
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 dwellers. In conclusion, there are different
activities
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 and
lifestyles
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 between hot
climate
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 and cold
climate
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regions
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. In my personal experiences, I lived in the hot
climate
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 and cold
climate
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regions
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 so I would rather enjoy the
activities
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 in hot
weather
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 than the cold
weather
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by noppapat_k on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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