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Band 5.5

Some people argue that space exploration has had more to do with national pride than international effort. To what extent do you agree with? How do you think space exploration will change in the future? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

#people #space #exploration #pride #effort #change #future
Space
exploration
 has recently become more popular and possible thanks to new technologies. Humans began to explore
space
 when, in the beginning, countries created their own
space
 programs.
However
, at the present time, nations are trying to support each other in
space
exploration
 and provide equipment and I totally agree with
that
Change the determiner
those
show examples
 changes.
This
 essay will discuss possible changes in
this
 area for the
future
. It is clearly noticeable that countries are trying to stand out with new discoveries and want to be respected among others. The competition between nations and national pride makes itself felt.
For instance
, let’s remember the situation when Neil Armstrong
first
 successfully flew into
space
 under the leadership of the United States. Eventually,
this
 significant event undoubtedly changed the
future
 of the state.
However
, over the years, the population grows and people have less and less land to live
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
 In
this
 case, states are obliged to unite and begin to cooperate for a common
future
.
This
 implies that scientists around the world must share knowledge for more felicitous and efficient
work
. It was decided that
international
Correct article usage
the international
show examples
 community will
work
 together to explore Planet Mars in order to become the
next
 Earth for human life.
Business
Add an article
The business
A business
show examples
 will make progress, if all countries good to finance the
exploration
 of Mars, on the availability of resources suitable for existence. Even though those risks,
space
exploration
 in the
future
 will become
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 extensively mastered business. Since humanity has already achieved a tremendous result and it is very happy. All nations need it just unity and
work
 non-stop. To sum up, even if part of humanity continue
work
 alone, I believe that most of the world's inhabitants will more accurate and focused to collaborate together
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
that is
 not the way people should take.
Submitted by anjelika-mama on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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