In the modern world, most of the youngster admires and follows to celebrities like media sports starts them, who are not acting good role models. I strongly believe that this is a negative development.

In the modern world, most youngsters admire and follow
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
celebrities like media and popular people, who are not acting good role models. I strongly believe that
this
is a negative development because of it they distracted from the aim of
life
and indulge in bad company.
Firstly
, some people distracted from the aim of
life
. As media and sports star who have some bad habits
such
as drinking, smoking or use of drugs and a lot of young people who are not mature and they follow these bad habits and implanted into their
life
and they not able to spend more time to their work and study and wastage their time on these bad habits.
As a result
, they will not able to achieve their aim and unsuccessful in their future
life
.
Submitted by Arun Saini on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: