Nowadays, many people who suffer from diabetes and
obesity
throughout the world are increasing. Others believe that the
government
should ban sugar snacks from schools. I totally disagree with
this
notion, for two
reasonChange to a plural noun
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. The children who
agesChange the verb form
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0-25 are not prone to
obesity
since they are more active at school,
however
, elderly people are the
oneCorrect pronoun usage
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who
eatChange the verb form
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more and
effort lessCorrect your spelling
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due to busy work.
To begin
with, children
are regularly involveChange the verb form
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in many activities at school.
For instance
sports, they are more active during the day and move more frequently,
therefore
they are not prone to
these health-related diseaseChange the determiner
this health-related disease
these health-related diseases
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because the fats and sugar they take
are being tackleChange the verb form
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by the active movements that they will produce sweat. The
government
should not ban
the Correct article usage
show examples
sugary snacks in every institution.
Secondly
, adults are more prone to diabetes and
obesity
due to lack of movements during the day and busy
of Change preposition
show examples
work.
For example
, the call
centerChange the spelling
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agent who just sit 8 hours a day and do not have enough time to get proper
food
but
instead
turning to fast
food
and instant
food
in many stores today. They are the
oneCorrect pronoun usage
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that the
government
should take actions and discipline
notAdd the comma(s)
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the schools
whichChange preposition
show examples
the teachers can educate the kids but have the freedom to choose what they want to eat.
In conclusion, though
obesity
and diabetes are
raisingCorrect your spelling
show examples
in
todaysChange to a genitive case
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generation, the
government
should not ban
the Correct article usage
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sugary
food
in schools because kids are more active and they are not the
oneCorrect pronoun usage
show examples
who
areChange the verb form
show examples
prone to these health-related diseases but the adults.