Some believe that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together, while others claim that holding the Olympics wastes money which could be used for important issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.
Many people believe that
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
games
can bring the
unity to all Correct article usage
apply
nations
. Others think that this
event
is not important and wastes money. It is a tendency to believe that international sport
Change the noun form
sports
games
are cost
an enormous money to organize the Change to the active voice
cost
have cost
event
. However
, I believe that there are several benefits of
Change preposition
to
this
Olympic
event
.
According to
the
point of view, Correct determiner usage
this
the
international Correct article usage
apply
sport
Change the noun form
sports
games
such
as Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
games
, It is the big event
that happens once in
every four years. It cost a vast financial investment to hold Change preposition
apply
this
event
. For example
, there is
the Change the verb form
are
Olympic
games
in South Africa in 2010 and the governments have
to Wrong verb form
had
rebuilt
many Change the verb
rebuild
sport
stadiums around the Change the noun form
sports
country
to hold the number of Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
tourist
around the world that attended the Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
Olympic
games
. For some Fix the agreement mistake
countries
country
Add a comma
country,
this
event
is kind of the reputation of the country
. This
is the reason why many country
spend over a trillion dollars to organize Change to a plural noun
countries
this
event
while
they could spend this
amount of money to improve the society.
On the other hand
, there are various benefits happen in Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
games
. For instance
, it can bring the
unity in each Correct article usage
apply
nations
to Change to a singular noun
nation
cheers
their homeland competitors. Wrong verb form
cheer
This
can bring the
joyful moments to that Correct article usage
apply
country
when they are in the winner
positions. Replace the word
winning
Moreover
, this
event
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
the
people from different Correct article usage
apply
nations
to be more generous to each others
as the Change to a singular noun
other
sport
roles are. Change the noun form
sports
Olympic
games
can impact on
the tourism trends in the Change preposition
apply
country
as well; there by
, the Correct your spelling
thereby
economic
will increase from the Replace the word
economy
tourist
around the world that visit to the host Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
country
.
In conclusion, there are benefits and drawbacks of
Change preposition
to
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
games
. In my opinion, I believed
that Wrong verb form
believe
this
event
should be happened continuously. Therefore
, the joyful and unity can drive the happiness of people in every nations
around the worldChange to a singular noun
nation
Submitted by noppapat_k on
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Task Achievement
Good job on discussing both sides of the argument and providing your opinion. Make sure to address each aspect of the prompt in more detail to enhance task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Try to improve the transitions between paragraphs for better coherence and cohesion.
Content
Discussion of benefits and drawbacks of the Olympic games.
Content
Clear expression of opinion in the conclusion.