Some believe that the Olympic games help bring people from different nations together, while others claim that holding the Olympics wastes money which could be used for important issues. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

Many people believe that
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
games
can bring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unity to all
nations
. Others think that
this
event
is not important and wastes money. It is a tendency to believe that international
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
games
are cost
Change to the active voice
cost
have cost
show examples
an enormous money to organize the
event
.
However
, I believe that there are several benefits
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Olympic
event
.
According to
the
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
point of view,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
games
such
as
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
games
, It is the big
event
that happens once
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every four years. It cost a vast financial investment to hold
this
event
.
For example
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
the
Olympic
games
in South Africa in 2010 and the governments
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
to
rebuilt
Change the verb
rebuild
show examples
many
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
stadiums around the
country
to hold the number of
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
around the world that attended the
Olympic
games
. For some
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
country
Add a comma
country,
show examples
this
event
is kind of the reputation of the
country
.
This
is the reason why many
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
spend over a trillion dollars to organize
this
event
while
they could spend
this
amount of money to improve the society.
On the other hand
, there are various benefits happen in
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
games
.
For instance
, it can bring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unity in each
nations
Change to a singular noun
nation
show examples
to
cheers
Wrong verb form
cheer
show examples
their homeland competitors.
This
can bring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
joyful moments to that
country
when they are in the
winner
Replace the word
winning
show examples
positions.
Moreover
,
this
event
encourage
Change the verb form
encourages
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people from different
nations
to be more generous to each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
as the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
roles are.
Olympic
games
can impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the tourism trends in the
country
as well;
there by
Correct your spelling
thereby
show examples
, the
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
will increase from the
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
show examples
around the world that visit to the host
country
. In conclusion, there are benefits and drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
show examples
games
. In my opinion, I
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
that
this
event
should be happened continuously.
Therefore
, the joyful and unity can drive the happiness of people in every
nations
Change to a singular noun
nation
show examples
around the world
Submitted by noppapat_k on

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Task Achievement
Good job on discussing both sides of the argument and providing your opinion. Make sure to address each aspect of the prompt in more detail to enhance task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Try to improve the transitions between paragraphs for better coherence and cohesion.
Content
Discussion of benefits and drawbacks of the Olympic games.
Content
Clear expression of opinion in the conclusion.
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