Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organizations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

nowadays, an increasing number of
people
are concerned about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
celebrities and NGO supportive
issue
. Some even argue that
people
with fame will shift the attention from
problem
Add an article
the problem
show examples
to themselves. I agree with the view that famous
people
will not help the
issue
.
Firstly
, it is obvious that when famous
people
represent groups with
problems
will help themselves on public images
hence
most of us will doubt their purpose of doing so.
Secondly
,
public
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the public
show examples
might only attract by Stars not the
problems
.
For example
, there was an "ice bucket challenge “online
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
years ago which went viral that almost every celebrity we know was a part of it. The aim of
this
activity was to trigger
people
`s awareness
about
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of
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a disease called "AS” .
However
, what was left at the end was Tom Holland
half naked
Add a hyphen
half-naked
show examples
pictures.
People
don`t even know the founder of
this
challenge passed away later who
also
suffered from AS himself.
Finally
,
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
are
people
with short-term memories. There are too many distractions online of celebrities,
people
are overwhelmed they might forget about it after they spot something eye-catching.
However
,
this
is not to say that famous
people
could do nothing good
address
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to address
show examples
this
issue
. WTO holds annual talks on certain topics each year. Emma Watson spoke about the importance of education and how poorly it was in Africa
Add the comma(s)
, therefore,
show examples
therefore
raised a flag for us to notice the problem; Angelina Jolie gave a presentation about
Correct your spelling
increasing
increasment
Correct article usage
the increasment
show examples
of infection rate on infants in Africa
also
leaded
Correct your spelling
led
show examples
the public to face the fact that a huge portion of
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
struggling now because of poverty or famine. But unfortunately, how many of us will take an action regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
these
problems
they have talked about? I sincerely doubt that. To summarize the ideas above, celebrities support towards organizations might be less effective which will change the priority thereby might not address the
issue
at all.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
,Meanwhile
show examples
we should not ignore there are actors and actresses taking the responsibilities to educate
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
on accrued
problems
. By doing so we hope that more
people
will start to care and reflect themselves on
people
who might need it.
Submitted by Sue on

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • endorse
  • international aid organizations
  • public awareness
  • amplify
  • advocacy
  • systemic change
  • oversimplification
  • trivialization
  • undermining
  • severity
  • misinformed advocacy
  • distorts
  • hamper
  • guided by experts
  • constructive
  • strategically
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