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Band 4.5

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community.Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

#company #factory #community #influence #support #position
For
past
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the past
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 few decades, multinational companies choose suburb locations for their new innovations. A reputed firm which
wish
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wishes
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 to integrate their ambitions in a particular community
have
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has
show examples
 both merits and demerits. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
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 its disadvantages outweigh the advantages. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will
putforth
Correct your spelling
put forth
 my views in detail. On the one hand,
initiation
Correct article usage
the initiation
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 of
such
 a factory would
upbring
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bring
 the entire community. Since it
provide
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provides
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 employment to
large
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a large
the large
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 number of people, that would result in
financial
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the financial
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 balance of
concerned
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the concerned
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 society. Mainly
yongsters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
 would be benefited from it.
Thus
such
 an undertaking could handle the growing unemployment wisely.
Moreover
, it could improve the overall standard. As
such
 an innovation could inspire other multinationals to start their
on
Correct your spelling
own
show examples
 business in that area.
On the other hand
, there is a chance of environmental pollution with respect to
such
large
Correct article usage
a large
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 undertaking. For the huge
benefits
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,benefits
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 most of the
co-operates
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co-operate
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 might not be much vigilant about
such
 negative impact. They may choose the most prosperous sites
such
 as riverbanks or nature protected areas for
such
 advancements.
Hence
 it would be easier for them to
dispose
Add the preposition
ofdispose
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 their commercial waste easily. Henceforth,
such
 a movement could exacerbate the already present negative influence on biodiversity. With regard to studies by
United
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the United
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 Nations, areas proximal to factories are more vulnerable
for
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to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental pollution. Having
analysing
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analysed
show examples
 the above facts,
i
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I
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 would like to stress that
incoperating
Correct your spelling
incorporating
such
 innovations to a community
is
Change the verb form
are
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 beneficial for that entire
societyto
Correct your spelling
society to
society
 some extent. But it could
also
could
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
harm
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
biodiversity. I hope
authorities
Add an article
the authorities
show examples
 would analyse every aspect of
such
 an undertaking before taking a final decision.
Submitted by neethuchackochan on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • infrastructure development
  • local businesses
  • unemployment rates
  • pollution
  • residents' health
  • noise and traffic congestion
  • social tensions
  • community dynamics
  • boost the local economy
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