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Band 5

The money spent by governments on space programmes would be better spent on vital public services such as schools and hospitals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#money #governments #space #programmes #services #schools #hospitals
It is sometimes argued that
governments
 allocate too
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 economic resources to
space
programs
 which could be more beneficial if used in vital public sectors
such
 as health and
education
. while I believe
education
 and health are very important, I completely
dissagree
Correct your spelling
disagree
 with cutting down
space
programs
 budget
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 order to be spent on schools and hospitals. One on hand, it is true that the
governments
 should spend more
money
 on
education
 and health. The reason is
because
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that
show examples
 not enough people are getting proper
education
 and medical services are too expensive for the majority of people.
Governments
 could increase the quality
these
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of these
show examples
 vital public services by allocating more annual budget to these sectors.
For instance
,
in
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at
show examples
 the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of
COVID
Correct article usage
the COVID
show examples
 pandemic
governments
 spent a lot of
money
to
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on
show examples
 research institutes to develop a
vacine
Correct your spelling
vaccine
.
On the other hand
, the budget of
space
Correct article usage
the space
show examples
 program mostly goes into funding various new research
programs
 to develop new technologies. Many of the technologies that we use today
has
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have
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 been developed during
cold
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the cold
a cold
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 war when
united
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the united
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 states and
russia
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Russia
show examples
 spend a lot of
money
 on their
space
 missions. GPS,
for instance
, was originally build to compute
position
Add an article
the position
show examples
 of
satelites
Correct your spelling
satellites
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
. I believe
governments
shou
Correct your spelling
should
;d continue to fund
space
 projects because not only it will result in new
tecnologies
Correct your spelling
technologies
 but
also
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will enable new possibilities and capabilities for humans in the future. In conclusion,
space
programs
 are crucial for the future of humans and the
governments
 should spend as much
money
 as
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is necessary
on
Verify preposition usage
for
show examples
 these
programs
.
Submitted by milad.shoushtari on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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