IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Increasing the price of patrol is the best way to solve the growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? What other measures do you think might be effective.

#price #patrol #traffic #pollution #measures
Nowadays ,increasing pollution is a major concern and some individuals suggest that for resolving the issues of traffic and pollution, rising
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fuel
price
 will prove beneficial.
However
, I completely disaccord with the solution as there are many other ways to control environmental pollution and traffic congestion. Let's discuss with
relevent
Correct your spelling
relevant
 examples to show up my point of view.
Firstly
,
hike
Correct article usage
a hike
show examples
 in the
patrol
Correct your spelling
petrol
show examples
price
 will lead to
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 economic recession in the country.
In other words
,
country's
Add an article
the country's
a country's
show examples
 economy will suffer from
shortage
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a shortage
the shortage
show examples
 of flow of money in the market
as a result
from
Verify preposition usage
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less spending by citizens because of inflation.
Moreover
, it will badly
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 the nation's image in the international community.
For instance
,
global
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the global
a global
show examples
 organisation will put pressure on the government to take necessary measures in order to tackle the problem of
surge
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a surge
the surge
show examples
 in
patrol
Correct your spelling
petrol
show examples
price
.
Secondly
,
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
show examples
 in fuel
price
 will have
severe
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a severe
show examples
 effect on the
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
show examples
 people as
this
 will put more pressure on their pocket.
Further
, they are not able to commute daily for work and studies purposes. To cite an example,
hike
Correct article usage
a hike
show examples
 in fuel
price
 will
also
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 to
Correct article usage
a rise
show examples
rise
Change the verb form
rising
show examples
 in
ticket
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the ticket
show examples
price
 of public transport. Overall, citizens are the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 who
suffer
Change the verb form
suffers
show examples
 more from the burden of
increase
Add an article
an increase
the increase
show examples
 in
price
.
Consequently
,
this
 will broaden the gap between the rich and the poor. To conclude,
although
hike
Correct article usage
a hike
show examples
 in
patrol
Correct your spelling
petrol
show examples
 prices is a constructive idea ,
however
 other measures
such
 as
introduction
Add an article
the introduction
show examples
 of electronic vehicles and promotion of public transport may bring a change.
In addition
, awareness programs should be encouraged
among
Verify preposition usage
by
show examples
 citizens.
Submitted by kaur39082 on

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