IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that because of email and telephone, communication among people is less personal now than it used to be. Do you agree or disagree with that view? Use specific reason and example to explain to your answers.

#people #email #telephone #communication #reason #answers
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It is often argued by some
people
Use synonyms
 that technological advancements
such
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 as telephone and email have made communication less intimate
that
Correct your spelling
than
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 it used to be. I completely disagree with
this
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 view as these modern forms have made
commuincation
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communication
 faster and much more reliable.
To begin
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 with, writing emails and making telephone calls have been made possible with advancements in communication systems. By
this
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, I, mean that
people
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 living across the globe can talk to each other quite effectively with just a click of a button. It has certainly been effective for most
of
Change preposition
apply
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Add a hyphen
working-class
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working
Correct article usage
the working
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 class and students who reside in other countries for higher education. To exemplify, a simple mobile phone with supporting applications is all we need to get connected with the loved ones whereas, in the ancient period writing a letter in the only way to stay in contact with
people
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.
Therefore
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,
communiation
Correct your spelling
communication
 has always been effective and reliable in recent times with continuous improvements to technology.
Furthermore
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, modern
communcation
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communication
 methods save time and cost. To elaborate, with
new
Correct article usage
a new
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 social media application called Facebook, it has made
possible
Correct pronoun usage
it possible
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 for almost every human being on the planet to connect with their friends who are divided across nations. Personally,
i
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I
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 believe
this
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 feature has benefitted a lot of
people
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 on missing their loved ones.
Moreover
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, various online platforms and features
such
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 as video calling
has
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have
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 made
people
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 stay in touch with
eachother
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each other
 even through times of difficulty.
Hence
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, technology has favoured
people
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 staying in touch even though
seperated
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separated
 by fairly a large distance. In conclusion, with
implemetation
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implementation
 and executions in
technology
Add a comma
,technology
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 it has made
possible
Correct pronoun usage
it possible
show examples
 for everyone to stay connected drawing out positive impacts in reducing the communication hindrance
Correct your spelling
amongst
amogst
Add the comma(s)
,amogst
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by karthikaare27 on

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