IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Parents should encourage children spend less time on studying and more time on doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree?

#parents #children #time #activities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
guardians have to uplift juveniles to utilise leisure
time
Use synonyms
 on academic study
instead
Linking Words
 of spending more
time
Use synonyms
 on sports activities, in my opinion, I agree with the given statement up to a great extent because with the
help
Use synonyms
 of physical activity adolescence can learn new skills to survive in society as well as
children
Use synonyms
 will develop their personality
however
Linking Words
 study is the key route for success in
life
Use synonyms
To begin
Linking Words
 with, parents mein motivate their
children
Use synonyms
 to spend less
time
Use synonyms
 on academic learning and inspire them about physical
health
Use synonyms
 because Juvenile gain their weight due to sedentary lifestyle and less communicate with folks that leads to wheat
health
Use synonyms
 but with the
help
Use synonyms
 of sports activities adolescence can improve their interpersonal skill to survive in society
moreover
Linking Words
 physical activity provides an opportunity to juvenile and make their body strong which allow
children
Use synonyms
 to do the task for a long period of
time
Use synonyms
 and benefit for their growth
for example
Linking Words
 as per the survey of World
health
Use synonyms
 organisation those juveniles who have better
health
Use synonyms
 they perform well in every task with the
help
Use synonyms
 of physical exercise
on the contrary
Linking Words
 , the study is the basic need for juveniles and it is very necessary for the upcoming phase of
life
Use synonyms
 as well as with the
help
Use synonyms
 of education
children
Use synonyms
 are able to learn the moral ethics of
life
Use synonyms
 and enhance the knowledge as per the survey conducted by the education department in the Delhi adolescence chat list March who spend more
time
Use synonyms
 on cricket to conclude, education plays a vital role to get success in
life
Use synonyms
 but I believe that spending more
time
Use synonyms
 on physical activity will police the skills of juvenile and least water good
health
Use synonyms
 leads toward a good
health
Use synonyms
Submitted by rajeev kumar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Development
  • Concentration
  • Obesity
  • Burnout
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Healthy lifestyle
  • Intellectual development
  • Structured activities
  • Teamwork
  • Leadership
  • Sedentary behavior
  • Tech addiction
  • Role models
  • Family bonds
What to do next:
Look at other essays: