IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job, on the other hand other people think that getting experiences and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#university #education #job #hand #people #experiences #skills
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People
Use synonyms
 have different views about whether higher
education
Use synonyms
 or
experience
Use synonyms
 is more important to find a good job. while there are some benefits to have
Use synonyms
experience
Add an article
the experience
show examples
, I believe that
people
Use synonyms
 have a better chance of finding a job with a
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, we know a lot of successful
people
Use synonyms
 do not have a
university
Use synonyms
digree
Correct your spelling
degree
. They start learning by
experience
Use synonyms
 from a young. By not attending
university
Use synonyms
 they can save a lot of their money and time which they can use to build up a solid background. For some
jobs
Add a comma
,jobs
show examples
this
Linking Words
experinece
Correct your spelling
experience
 is much more important.
For instance
Linking Words
, imagine someone wants to be a chef, it is much more likely for him/her to find a job if they have
Use synonyms
Add an article
an experience
show examples
experience
Correct your spelling
experienced
show examples
 rather than a
university
Use synonyms
 degree.
However
Linking Words
, some other jobs require deep technical knowledge which can only be acquired in academia. A good example would be a pilot or a computer engineer.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, every aspect of our lives has been changed in the past few decades with advancements in technology.
people
Use synonyms
 are more connected around the world and the companies have to compete with each other on a global scale. In order for them to
Correct your spelling
succeed
sucsseed
Add a comma
,sucsseed
show examples
 they are more willing to higher
people
Use synonyms
 with at least a minimum level of
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
. And these
people
Use synonyms
 are usually paid much more than the traditional "know-how" experts who lack a solid theoretical background. In my opinion,
university
Use synonyms
education
Use synonyms
 is undoubtedly more important than
experience
Use synonyms
for
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
 finding a position. While
experience
Use synonyms
 could be taught in a relatively short period, it is quite difficult for someone to get a high
education
Use synonyms
 degree.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is better to prioritize
education
Use synonyms
 over
experience
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
Although
Linking Words
 I can understand why
people
Use synonyms
 might prefer to get some
experience
Use synonyms
 as soon as possible without wasting time studying which is certainly beneficial in some jobs, I would argue that by getting a college or
university
Use synonyms
 degree they would have a much higher chance of getting hired nowadays.
Submitted by milad.shoushtari on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: