IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people think that older employees contribute most to the success of a company. Others think that younger people play a more vital role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #employees #success #company #role
There are spilt opinions regarding the contribution of the old or young employee towards the
company
 they are working for. Some believe that older employees are more efficient and so their contribution is more, whereas another group of thinkers support the younger generation participate more actively towards companies progress. In my opinion, I would say that employee with greater
experience
 would always play a major role in the
growth
 of an organization. To start with, the employee having greater
experience
 have a better understanding of the organizational movement towards its
growth
 path. They can put forward more development perspectives than a new joiner who still needs to understand the culture.
Moreover
, they possess tremendous co-operate knowledge with their growing
experience
 and
also
, could plan an amazing business strategy.
For Example
, Elon musk the owner of the Tesla
company
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 could only plan to launch a rocket or a car with his growing
experience
 in the industry and earned success after a few failures at his young age.
Hence
, I opine that the experienced workers are believed to be playing an important role in the
growth
 of their
company
 as they have better knowledge and understanding.
On the other hand
, the latter view suggests that younger people contribute to the major
growth
 of the
company
 as they are more energetic and have the capability to grasp things quickly.
Also
, they have young blood which instigates them continuously for the new learning.
In addition
, as they have recently left their academics and joined the organization, their interpretational skills are said to be good.
Thus
, if the energies of the younger generation are channelized in a proper manner
then
 they can create miracles in contributing to success. To conclude and give my opinion, I would say that
experience
 older employees are the people with the proper vision and
thus
, can lead the
company
 to tremendous success.
Submitted by pankaj_khubchandani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • vital role
  • deep understanding
  • valuable assets
  • mentoring
  • wisdom
  • tech-savvy
  • innovative ideas
  • eager to learn
  • fast-paced environments
  • dynamic
  • forward-thinking
  • diverse age range
  • leverage
  • unique strengths
  • harmonious
  • effective team
  • continuous learning
  • innovation
  • stability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: