IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

SHOULD CRIMINALS BE PUNISHED WITH LENGTHY JAIL TERMS OR SHOULD THEY BE RE-EDUCATED, USING COMMUNITY SERVICE PROGRAMS FOR INSTANCE, BEFORE BEING REINTRODUCED TO SOCIETY?

In recent years, law enforcement is stricter due to an increase in
crime
Use synonyms
, and its record is directly linked to the accused's profile. While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 one of the deciding factors is long term imprisonment or improving them by reinstructing through certain institutions cannot be unforeseen.
Therefore
Linking Words
, before surging my opinion, I would like to discuss both sides in the forthcoming paragraphs. The long time duration of sentencing may lead to fewer chances of improving the character, as a basic need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 employment is at risk. After spending a long period in
jail
Use synonyms
, it would be difficult to find a job due to the “Criminal tag”. Apart from
this
Linking Words
, if the
crime
Use synonyms
 happened inadvertently, after a long sentence that person is unable to occupy the same position in his/her profession due to lack and gap of experience.
For example
Linking Words
, in a survey by the “National
crime
Use synonyms
 ,bureau” it comes into effect that 30 per cent of criminals were recommitted to criminal activities due to boycott by society and not getting the right to join jobs according to academics.
Thus
Linking Words
, criminals after spending their crucial time in
jail
Use synonyms
 again indulge in
crime
Use synonyms
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, re-teaching the accused by deciding particular circumstances responsible for lead
crime
Use synonyms
 would give an opportunity for improvisation. If a person committed the
crime
Use synonyms
 for unavoidable circumstances and under influence of wrong peer-groups; it would be better to give guidance at
this
Linking Words
 stage to get back on track.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, the accused admitted that due to specific reasons he has to do
this
Linking Words
 criminal activity, at
this
Linking Words
 stage counselling would lead to the right direction.
For instance
Linking Words
, in a research of the United States, a group of people kept in
jail
Use synonyms
 and others at rehabilitation centres and results are drastically opposite each other, as
jail
Use synonyms
 candidates are more violent, and other group reform rates are much higher.
Hence
Linking Words
, learning with freedom gives better outcomes. To conclude, I completely agree with the aforesaid point that it would be encouraged to reduce criminal activities, rework on the personality required at a particular rehabilitation centre.
However
Linking Words
, longevity in the duration of imprisonment should keep on the
second
Linking Words
 option.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: