IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Despite A Variety Of Sport Facilities And Gyms, People Are Less Fit Nowadays Than Ever Before. What Do You You Think Are The Main Causes Of This Problem? What Solutions Can You Suggest?

#variety #sport #facilities #gyms #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is true that there are fewer
people
Use synonyms
 today who exercises or go to the gym regularly and that results in them being unfit. There are various reasons for
this
Linking Words
 problem but some steps can be taken to overcome it.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 nowadays have sedentary jobs, which means almost 3/4th of their day goes in sitting in front of the computer at
one
Use synonyms
 place and working.
Secondly
Linking Words
, spending a lot of time in front of a computer and the internet has made
people
Use synonyms
 more lazy and addictive to the internet.
World
Correct article usage
The world
show examples
 wide web constitutes
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
distraction technology as well. Human beings prefer spending
one
Use synonyms
 hour on the net
instead
Linking Words
 of spending time in fitness training for the well being of their body. In
such
Linking Words
 scenarios,
one
Use synonyms
 great solution could be starting their fitness journey online. There are many apps or youtube for that instance
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 offer free knowledge as to how
one
Use synonyms
 should exercise. These
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
 are for all kind of
people
Use synonyms
; if somebody is starting out as a beginner or someone who is at the advanced level, the internet has it all. These applications are AI sound so it schedules the routine according to
one
Use synonyms
's BMI (body mass index). In conclusion, some reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 are not working out can be identified, but some solution can be applied to encourage them more concerned about their physical health.
Submitted by shaivi97 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: