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Band 5.5

SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT IT IS BEST TO ACCEPT A BAD SITUATION, SUCH AS AN UNSATISFACTORY JOB OR SHORTAGE OF MONEY. OTHERS ARGUE THAT IT IS BETTER TO TRY AND IMPROVE SUCH SITUATIONS.

#people #situation #job #shortage #money #situations
Nowadays, many
people
 think that it would be better when they accept what life has given them. While some
people
 agree with the statement, I agree with those who believe that we should strive for better
situations
. On the one hand, it could be argued that
people
 tend to find satisfaction in their bad
situations
, even when they have to face up with financial burden or uncomfortable works. Advocates of
this
 opinion that change is risky and required a myriad of effort.
Moreover
, some
people
 are affected by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peer pressure,
therefore
, they have no option to make their own decisions.
For instance
, most postgraduate students face obstacles finding a job
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 matches their university major and are forced to work in unsatisfactory conditions.
However
, I would agree with those who
works
Change the verb form
work
show examples
 hard to overcome bad
situations
. Making effort to achieve the target would help
people
 to discover their abilities and lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 successful life. In fact, there are many examples throughout history about
people
 who became successful by conquering difficult circumstances. Take Christiano Ronaldo for an example, he was born to a financially backward family and had no money TO receive training for football or join a club. With his massive effort, Ronaldo was regarded as one of the best soccer players in the world. To conclude,
although
 it is common for some
people
 to accept
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
bad conditions, I would argue that they should try their best to improve their
situations
 in order to advance in
career
Correct pronoun usage
their career
show examples
 and contribute to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 successful life.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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