IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

There has been a dramatic growth in the number of people studying at universities in the last few decades. While some people see this as a positive trend which raises the general level of education within the community, others fear that it is lowering the quality of education. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the increase in student numbers at university?

Over the
last
Linking Words
 century, tertiary
education
Use synonyms
 has become available to more
people
Use synonyms
 than ever before.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 can be beneficial for individuals and for society as a whole, some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that the growth in student numbers is having a negative impact on the standard of
education
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the pros and cons of
this
Linking Words
 trend.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the worldwide expansion of tertiary
education
Use synonyms
 has been a positive trend for those involved. It has enabled more
people
Use synonyms
 to realize their capabilities, gain a qualification and pursue a career that interests them.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, jobs that require
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
higher
education
Use synonyms
 are often well paid and
thus
Linking Words
 allow those
people
Use synonyms
 to enjoy a higher
quality
Use synonyms
 of life.
This
Linking Words
 in turn helps to raise the standard of living of society through economic development.
For instance
Linking Words
, in countries with
high
Change the article
a high
the high
show examples
 number of physicians, health care can be provided to inhabitants in better
quality
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, the growing availability of
further
Linking Words
education
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 has some drawbacks.
A growth
Remove the article
Growth
show examples
 in student numbers has at times led to much larger classes.
As a result
Linking Words
, teachers are often too busy to give sufficient attention to their students. In some cases,
this
Linking Words
 may cause a drop in standards and
this
Linking Words
 could make it easier for students to pass.
Thus
Linking Words
, universities are in danger of being seen as “degree factories” in which the quantity of students rates higher than the
quality
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
university
education
Use synonyms
 can be a significant and positive step in a person’s life and should
therefore
Linking Words
 be available to everyone.
However
Linking Words
, universities will need to ensure that the
quality
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
 they deliver is not compromised by the growth in student numbers.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: