IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#tourism #industry #world #tension #people #cultures
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International
tourism
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make
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makes
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people
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travell
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travel
 around the world safely, and the business makes
profit
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a profit
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 from
the
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apply
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tourists.
However
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, there are some drawbacks of international
tourism
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 that affect international relationships in terms of lack of intercultural communication skills and respecting local cultures and custom. As a tendency,
people
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 who adept at foreign languages avoid tapping into
agents
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 of
tourism
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. These
peole
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people
 are usually familiar
to
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with
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 the target language's culture and history
at
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to
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 some extent
,
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apply
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 because language skills and cultural
knoweldge
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knowledge
 are closely connected at higher levels. The thing is that many
people
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 who don't have any knowledge
on
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of
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foreing
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foreign
countries
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 find international
tourism
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agents
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 very useful. The
agents
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 save the travellers a lot of time cumbersome registration and paperwork on foreign languages. If
the
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apply
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international
tourism
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are
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is
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 unavailable to those
people
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, the economic impact will be huge in many
countries
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. Some
countries
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 hinge on
the
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apply
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tourism
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, especially developing
countries
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. The restriction of international
tourism
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 will prevent foreigners from visiting these developing
countires
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countries
.
This
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 would cause international political tension.
Although
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 most
internationl
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international
 travellers are keen to see local unique
archtecture
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architecture
 and nature, they tend to fail to act locally.
For example
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, in Japan,
people
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 are reluctant to eat and drink while walking on the street. In the US,
on the other hand
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, most
people
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 are willing to grab food and drink to eat on the streets. Of course, it is not
a
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an
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 issue of right or wrong. It is a matter of how you can respect local culture and custom when they travel to foreign
countries
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. Based on
this
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 assumption, it would be necessary for international
tourism
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 that they should give
a
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apply
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guidance on the culture of the destination. To sum up, there is a fact that international
tourism
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 helps to boost
economy
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the economy
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.
However
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, the
agents
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 need to give
a
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apply
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proper guidance of the destination so that the tourists can follow the local rules and customs. I believe that the risk of increasing political tension can be prevented.
Submitted by fujimotodaiki32 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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