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Band 5

More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.

#people #car #transportation #over-reliance #cars
Many
people
depends
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depend
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 on private cars to
accomodate
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accommodate
 their transportation needs.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
, it has been seen as a social acceptance of wealth, there are numerous repercussions that can harm mankind in many ways.
Impact
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The impact
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 created
to
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on
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 the environment and the health
are
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is
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 seen as a major
threats
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threat
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 nowadays.
To begin
 with,
higher
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a higher
the higher
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 number of personal vehicle users increase the percentage of carbon dioxide
emmission
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emission
emissions
 to the environment.
This
 has been the
rootcause
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root cause
for
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of
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 the damage of
ozone
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the ozone
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 layer, which has resulted in
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the rise
a rise
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rise
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rising
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 of ultraviolet radiation that has seen
a
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an
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 elevation of skin cancer and eye
dieseases
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diseases
.
Secondly
, while
people
 have opted to use their private
vehicles
 it has resulted in traffic congestion all over the world, which destroys valuable time of
people
 but
also
 increases the money spent on fossil fuel.
In addition
 to
this
, researches have proven that the alarming rates of road accidents have been caused by the rapid usage of private
vehicles
. There are many ways and means to overcome
this
 dilemma
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society is facing.
Firstly
 governments should embrace policy decisions on improving the public transportation methods,
such
 as metro, LTR which can be seen as
a
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an
show examples
 option to encourage
people
 to avoid using
there
Replace the word
their
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 personal cars. As an
example
Add a comma
,example
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 the concept of "park and" ride which was introduced earlier saw a drastic decrease
of
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in
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 traffic in
colombo
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Colombo
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 city.
Furthermore
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,Furthermore
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 countries must ban the usage of petrol and
diesal
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diesel
vehicles
 and encourage
people
 to buy
zeoro
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zero
emmision
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emission
 electric
vehicles
 so that it will improve
the
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apply
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air pollution
accordingly
. Henceforth, it is evident that increase usage of personal
vehicles
have
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has
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resulted
Add the preposition
inresulted
fromresulted
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 many devastating effects
thius
Correct your spelling
this
, both government and
people
 should accept the
mindshift
Correct your spelling
mind-shift
mind shift
 which is needed to create a better environment for future generations.
Submitted by suhithakarunanayake on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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