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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Small business should avoid recruiting young women who do not have family in order to avoid paying maternity leave later on. What extent do you agree or not?

#business #women #maternity
It is important to consider whether
micro enterprises
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micro-enterprises
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 should
hired
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hire
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 young
women
 who are not living with their families or tried to prevent them because
,
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apply
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company
Add an article
the company
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 have to give them maternity leave in future. I
am totally disagree
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totally disagree
show examples
 with
this
. In my opinion, youngsters have more ability to do numerous kind of work as well as they helped in the growth of the small business.
To begin
 with, gender equality is indispensable in the system of every sort of corporation.
Although
, it is
at
Verify preposition usage
on
show examples
the
Change the article
a
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 large scale or at
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 small scale. Small business is just growing in these days and tried to achieve their goal to establish
multi-national
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a multi-national
the multi-national
show examples
 business. When any small firm
don't
Change the verb form
doesn't
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 enlist all sex, they would not be able to get success. That's the only possible when they reap participation of each gender
similarly
.
Furthermore
,
lady
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the lady
a lady
show examples
 who is living alone will possibly give more time to her career because she
don't
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doesn't
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 have any other thing to do plus she
are
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is
show examples
 able to do long hours job. Add to it, career plays
paramount
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a paramount
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 role in there life. Young
women
 focus on their job more than anything else. As
its
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a
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 result, she contributed
in
Change preposition
to
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 the enhancement of the industry.
For instance
,
recent
Correct article usage
a recent
show examples
 newspaper report shows that young
women
 took 58% more overtime than other working
women
. To conclude, people may vary in their point of view. Some people argue that when small scale have to pay maternity leave to them, it may
be create
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create
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obstacle
Add an article
an obstacle
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 in the path of growth. But I think these disadvantages are overshadowed by the merits of employed young ladies
in
Verify preposition usage
at
show examples
 work.
Submitted by nirmaljeetkaur538 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • equality
  • non-discrimination
  • workforce
  • employment opportunities
  • maternity leave
  • employee loyalty
  • employee retention
  • inclusive practices
  • societal standards
  • economic considerations
  • ethical considerations
  • government support
  • financial burden
  • hiring practices
  • diverse workforce
  • inclusive workforce
  • labor rights
  • fair treatment
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