IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #health #future
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Indeed,
health
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 is wealth. Only to be discovered
in
Change preposition
at
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later
Add an article
a later
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 age that
health
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 is a top priority. It is true that
peole's
Correct your spelling
people's
health
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are
Change the verb form
is
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 deteriorating compared to previous decades. Most
people
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 face more
health
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 issues due to their fast and instant
lifestyle
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, as well as the
way
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 they work. It is doomed in the future that
health
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 issues might rise up due to the
peoplr's
Correct your spelling
people's
 current routine. Everything is fast and instant, from using mobile phones all the
way
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 to consume too
much processed
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much-processed
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 food.
Such
Linking Words
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lifestyle
Correct article usage
a lifestyle
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 contributes to poor
health
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 later on in life. The use of handphone in the
last
Linking Words
 few decades has made
people
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 opt for
less
Add an article
a less
the less
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 active
lifestyle
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.
Hence
Linking Words
, there is hardly any physical activities in their daily routine. There are more statistics on various diseases all over the globe and one of its sources is mainly from consuming too
much processed
Add a hyphen
much-processed
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 food. Fast food is a favourite
to
Verify preposition usage
of
for
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 many. The very reason that those who consume it will regret it later on. The
way
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people
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 work right now has a major impact on their
health
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an
Replace the word
and
show examples
 the future. Most
people
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 nowadays work in offices, from 9am to 5 pm, or even longer than that. Without a doubt, the body posture, lack of
sleepand
Correct your spelling
sleep and
 certainly the focus to get things done contributes to putting
health
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 in priority number two. A normal worker usually gets
ohome
Correct your spelling
home
 on time.
However
Linking Words
, on the days where the dateline is near, more working hours are required and over the years, it has
reflect
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reflected
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 the quality of
health
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 in general.to conclude, with the
way
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 that most
people
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 are living right now, undoubtedly,
health
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 will be affected in a negative
way
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. Generally, statistics in most countries indicate that more and more
people
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 are no longer as healthy compared o the older generation.
Current
Correct article usage
The current
show examples
lifestyle
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 can not be changed overnight.
Thus
Linking Words
, to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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better
health
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, small and continuous change is vital in one's life.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Standard of health
  • 2. Average
  • 3. Lower
  • 4. Future
  • 5. Aging population
  • 6. Chronic diseases
  • 7. Sedentary lifestyle
  • 8. Lack of exercise
  • 9. Poor dietary habits
  • 10. Environmental pollution
  • 11. Technological advancements
  • 12. Impact on health
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