IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages with it, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree?

#world #technology #internet #terms #control #security #information
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Nowadays,
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 is indispensable in the life of every human being. It is important to consider whether the merits of
this
Linking Words
 invention are overshadowed by its demerits or not. Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
technology
Use synonyms
 creates
oodle
Correct article usage
an oodle
show examples
 of hurdles
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 are unnoticed. But, I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 perspective. According to my opinion, the development of high- tech is crackerjack because it provides us
numerous
Change preposition
with numerous
show examples
 kind of facilities in every field.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 play
imperative
Correct article usage
an imperative
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 role in time- saving. Due to modernization, everyone is busy
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their hectic schedule.
However
Linking Words
, in ancient time,
people
Use synonyms
 had to do everything with their hands and they did not get time for themselves. But in today's world, we have multitudinous gadgets available at our home as well as
in office
Add a hyphen
in-office
show examples
 which saves
our
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
 huge time that can be invested
on
Verify preposition usage
in
show examples
 ourselves.
For instance
Linking Words
, earlier, individuals spent hours on cleaning but now, we can do it in
few
Add an article
a few
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 minutes with the aid of
vacuum
Correct article usage
a vacuum
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.
This
Linking Words
 is
also
Linking Words
creativity
Add an article
the creativity
a creativity
show examples
 of
technology
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 innovation helps us to connect with our loved ones easily. If we see our past,
people
Use synonyms
 usually sent letters to each other which reached in many days but in present, we can send e-mails, messages in just by pressing one button and our family can receive it in few minutes. That's only possible with the growth of
technology
Use synonyms
. Add to it, video calls and phone calls
also
Linking Words
 make us close to our family. In
this
Linking Words
 way, we can see and talk with each other. To conclude, many
people
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 may vary in their point of view because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they think that
technology
Use synonyms
 reduces face to face interaction plus our information is not secure on
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 but they forget the abundance of advantages of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
. I think,
technology
Use synonyms
 is very crucial in our life and
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 pros are undeniable.
Submitted by nirmaljeetkaur538 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • digital banking
  • cybersecurity
  • data protection
  • security breaches
  • cyber attacks
  • online transactions
  • digital divide
  • surveillance
  • freedom of information
  • responsible usage
  • ethical considerations
  • digital footprints
  • online behavior
  • information inequality
What to do next:
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