IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Smacking children is the best way to discipline children. to what extent do you agree or disagree.

#children #discipline
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people believe that corporal
punishment
Use synonyms
 is a good
way
Use synonyms
 to teach
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
. A number of
parents
Use synonyms
 preferred physical
punishment
Use synonyms
 to
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
discipline
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 so that they will grow to be good and
God fearing
Add a hyphen
God-fearing
show examples
 persons.
This
Linking Words
 essay will argue why physical
punishment
Use synonyms
 is entirely not the best
way
Use synonyms
 to
discipline
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
. Nowadays,
parents
Use synonyms
 believe that inflicting physical pain is the best
way
Use synonyms
 to
discipline
Use synonyms
 their
children
Use synonyms
 to correct their
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 because
children
Use synonyms
 are at their formative years and it’s the best time to teach them that there are consequences if they do wrong.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
this
Linking Words
 will
also
Linking Words
 serve as
deterrent
Add an article
a deterrent
show examples
 for them not to go against the rules. Indeed,
children
Use synonyms
 with military
parents
Use synonyms
 are likely to grow with stricter upbringing because of their influences though other
parents
Use synonyms
 w/o
this
Linking Words
 background
also
Linking Words
 do
this
Linking Words
 kind of raising their young ones because they believed that smacking them is a good
way
Use synonyms
 to
discipline
Use synonyms
 them. One example is when
parents
Use synonyms
 tap the back of the hands of their
children
Use synonyms
 when they misbehave or if they are being rude. Overall, some
parents
Use synonyms
 believe that
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
punishing them physically is an effective
way
Use synonyms
in
Verify preposition usage
of
to
show examples
molding
Change the spelling
moulding
show examples
 the
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 of their
children
Use synonyms
 to become better persons as they grow.
In contrast
Linking Words
, some
parents
Use synonyms
 preferred
non physical
Add a hyphen
non-physical
show examples
punishment
Use synonyms
 as the best
way
Use synonyms
 of disciplining
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
their
children
Use synonyms
 because they believed that talking to them firmly and setting rules and regulations in the family is a better
way
Use synonyms
 of with them and .
Children
Use synonyms
 who are raised in
non-violent
Correct article usage
a non-violent
show examples
 environment bla..... In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 essay argued why smacking is entirely not
appropriate
Add an article
an appropriate
the appropriate
show examples
way
Use synonyms
 of disciplining
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
 because of the bad repercussions. In my opinion, Inflicting corporal
punishment
Use synonyms
 is definitely not the best
way
Use synonyms
 to
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
discipline
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
children
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by carolgtadeo28 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: