Wealthy Countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #refugees #assistance #food

The basic necessities

such

as meals and shelter are argued to be the responsibility of wealthier

countries

for individuals seeking refuge .I agree with

this

point of view as I believe it is the right thing to do and

also

helping these

refugees

could be quite beneficial

socio- economically

Correct your spelling

socio-economically

show examples

To begin

with, in recent times, there has been an increasing number of war-torn

countries

therefore

, these affected and displaced

person's

Change the noun form

people

person

show examples

have

began

Change the verb form

begun

show examples

seeking refuge in

neighboring

Change the spelling

neighbouring

show examples

prosperous

countries

or in foreign wealthy regions. Wealthy

countries

are seemingly burdened with the responsibility to offer assistance either financially or help with

relocation

Add an article

the relocation

show examples

of the affected people. I believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

these prosperous

countries

have not always been well-off but they

where

Replace the word

were

show examples

assisted when they faced hard times in the past by other buoyant

nations

Hence

, it is the ethical course of action because it is often believed that we are our

brothers

Change to a genitive case

brother's

show examples

keeper.

For instance

, during the financial crisis that hit many

countries

in Europe, some wealthy

nations

and financial communities stepped in to rescue them.

Therefore

, the same can be offered to these

refugees

after

Add the comma(s)

,after

show examples

all, some of these rich

countries

may indirectly be benefitting from their crisis.

Furthermore

, accepting

refugees

also

a way to boost

Correct the article-noun agreement

nations

a nation

show examples

nations

socio-economic standards. Meanwhile, some of these refuge seekers are qualified professionals.

Although

, some citizens of these wealthy

countries

may be

skeptical

Change the spelling

sceptical

show examples

about the reduction in jobs and how it would affect them,

but

Remove the conjunction

apply

show examples

reality

Add a comma

,reality

show examples

it might become healthy competition and motivation to improve

quality

Correct article usage

the quality

show examples

of their service at work.

Also

, accepting and integrating these

refugees

become instrumental

Change preposition

show examples

nations

cultural diversity. To conclude,

refugees

need buoyant

countries

to step in and offer assistance and solutions to their problems.

This

action can bring an overall change in

perspective

Correct article usage

the perspective

show examples

of citizens of wealthy

countries

itmay

Correct your spelling

it may

also

challenge their thoughts and beliefs.I believe it is the humane thing to do, after

all

Add the comma(s)

,all

show examples

we are all interconnected and we all need help from time to time.

Submitted by ochuksemeordiblessing on Mon Mar 15 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

332 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Refugees
Asylum seekers
Humanitarian aid
Integration
Multiculturalism
Economic impact
Public services
International law
Conventions relating to the status of refugees
Labor market
Cultural enrichment
Burden-sharing
Resettlement programs
Host country
Border security
Comprehensive policy

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Wealthy Countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities.Others, however, say that this would have little affect on public health and other measure are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

The world of work is changing rapidly and employees cannot depend on having the same job or the same working conditions for life. Discuss the possible causes for this rapid change, and suggest ways of preparing people for the world of work in the future.

In many countries around the world young people decide to leave their parents’ home once they finish school. They start living on their own or sharing a home with friends. Is this a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples