IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Each country has its own charity organizations. Sometimes people think that those organizations should only offer help to their own country while others thinks they are supposed to give aid to people in great need wherever they live. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Charity
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
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 are vital for all world,they could aid
people
Use synonyms
 when
disaster
Fix the agreement mistake
disasters
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 come by, save
people
Use synonyms
's lives and provide shelter for citizens.
However
Linking Words
, these
charities
Use synonyms
 usually belong to one specific
country
Use synonyms
,
sometimes
Correct word choice
and sometimes
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 some large
charities
Use synonyms
 consider helping their
domestics
Fix the agreement mistake
domestic
show examples
 citizens
in priorities
Replace the word
as a priority
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 article, I will discuss why I agree
the
Correct article usage
that
show examples
charities
Use synonyms
 should give aid to
people
Use synonyms
 worldwide.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the goal of
charities
Use synonyms
 is to save the lives of
people
Use synonyms
.The
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
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 of
charity
Correct article usage
the charity
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always
Verb problem
are always
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have
Verb problem
apply
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trained by specialists who have
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 professional knowledge background than normal individuals
,
Punctuation problem
;
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therefore
Linking Words
, these members could cure more
people
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 by using their aid backgrounds. To specify, these
charities
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 are able to help more
people
Use synonyms
 in emergency situations without national boundaries.
Secondly
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,developed countries usually have more advanced types of equipment for multiple purposes.
For instance
Linking Words
, one developed
country
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 may have a drone to search for
people
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 who cannot be contacted in an earthquake,
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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with
Change preposition
to
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this
Linking Words
 situation,
one
Correct determiner usage
a
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 developing
country
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 may not own
this
Linking Words
 device to explore sick
people
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 or vanished
people
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.
Furthermore
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,these newest types of equipment
definitely could
Correct word order
could definitely
show examples
 help more in searching or helping. If these
organizations
Use the right word
organisations
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 intend to provide more abilities to the sick
base
Replace the word
based
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 on who should be treated
Linking Words
firstly
Replace the word
first
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, these situations of treatment may be improved.
To conclude
Linking Words
, charitable institutions
are
Verb problem
play
show examples
 a necessary role in modern society
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, how to help more
people
Use synonyms
 is the ultimate purpose
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 these institutions or even for all human beings.Without the priority of their own
country
Use synonyms
, more
charities
Use synonyms
 may help more
people
Use synonyms
 in multiple situations.

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content
There is not enough talk about the other side. Add a view that aid should stay in one country before you give your own choice.
structure
Plan the essay in four parts: intro, view one, view two, final view, with one idea in each body and a short example.
language
Use simple words and short sentences. Fix long lines. Make each idea clear in one sentence.
language
Add a clear end that says your view. Do not repeat ideas.
content
The topic is seen and you give a view on it.
structure
There is a plan with intro, body, and end.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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