IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The continued rise in the world’s population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this continued rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity?

#rise #world’s #population #humanity #time
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Global
population
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 rising is often viewed as being caused by the improvement in
level
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the level
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 of living. The essay agrees that the growth of the
population
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 is the biggest problem for
the
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apply
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people nowadays.
Firstly
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,
this
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 essay will describe how the development of technologies led to
this
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 soar and
then
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 talk about
such
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 side effects of the growing as
surge
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a surge
the surge
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 in garbage production and a lack of
food
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.
First
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, technologies play an important role in the development of our society. High technological medical service discovers diseases at early phases, while the variety of medicines completely cures even severe illnesses.
Furthermore
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, medicine now allows women to born
children
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with children
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 up to 40 years old. Science development and high standards in the
food
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 sector made
deep water
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deepwater
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 cleaning and highly nutritious
food
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 available for
purchasing
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purchase
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 in big amount by large families without extra expenses. Elongated lives and having more children lead to
the
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an
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 increase in
population
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.
Second
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, the more people we have, the more
food
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 is required.
However
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, even with developed technologies in agriculture and
food
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 processing,
the
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apply
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people can not produce as much
food
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 as they consume. Because all fertile soils together are not capable to provide
sufficient
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a sufficient
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 amount of
food
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 for everybody.
Moreover
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, garbage is an integral part of any human activity not only
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food
Correct article usage
the food
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 production industry. Based on BBC forecasts, by 2050 the weight of waste in the global ocean will exceed the weight of all water
habitants
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habitats
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 together. To sum up, the rise of
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population
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the population
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 on Earth which was caused by the improvements in
level
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the level
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 of living became
the
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a
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 giant problem for the humans.
Submitted by red-sonya5 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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