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More and more people buy a range of household goods such as television, microwave, oven ,.. Do you think it positive or negative development?

#people #range #household #goods #television #microwave #oven #development
It is an undeniable fact that humankind is updating day by day
along with
 the improvement of new technology. Numerous individuals these days are bringing items like computers and LED screens to their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
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. I strongly believe that there are many cons like pollution and health issues by installing all
this
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
 in the houses.
To begin
 with, utilising a product like a microwave oven is harmful because, if the food like pizza is cooked in it will lose all the nutrients available in it and leads to health disorders,
although
 people
are having
Wrong verb form
have
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 different healthy options, it is advisable to use natural products like a copper vessel which protects the snack items to maintain its mineral levels. Another situation is that if mankind is using heating items to cook stored foods they will become obese,
hence
 buying
this
 will have more issues.
Furthermore
, these days both adults and children are using smartphones and laptops for their education and work.
However
,
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 are avoiding using textbooks and
instead
Add a comma
instead,
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 they are studying through ebooks,
hence
 to prepare through
such
 notes requires electronic tablets,
by
Change preposition
apply
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using
this products
Change the determiner
this product
these products
show examples
 by both parents and pupils will
have
Verb problem
cause
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 physical problems.
Moreover
, buying a television for the household for watching has become an addiction to kids,
instead
Add a comma
instead,
show examples
 it is suggested for children to improve their knowledge by going to school.
To conclude
, most of the population these days are willing to make their living area to be filled with electronic goods which are causing problems to their bodies,
hence
 there are more negative impacts rather than having advantages by buying
this
 range of systems.
Submitted by deekshit973 on

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task response
Ensure that you address all aspects of the essay prompt and provide a clear opinion on whether the development is positive or negative.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in a logical and coherent manner. Consider using paragraphs to separate different points.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary and use more specific and precise language. Also, pay attention to the collocation of words.
grammatical range
Work on improving your sentence structures and grammar accuracy. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and word order.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Convenience
  • Technological advancement
  • Innovation
  • Lifestyle
  • Consumerism
  • Environmental footprint
  • Sustainability
  • Over-reliance
  • Economic growth
  • Job creation
  • Family dynamics
  • Social interactions
  • Health risks
  • Electromagnetic radiation
  • Energy consumption
  • Waste management
  • Obsolescence
  • Smart appliances
  • Connectivity
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