In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

These days, shoppers now prefer to do their buying at bigger shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
or malls.
As a result
, small local shops have gone out of business. In my opinion,
this
is a negative development because it would increase the unemployment rate and
also
, discourage future small business owners.
Firstly
, small
businesses
have always been extremely beneficial to the public and
this
is because they offer
variety
Add an article
a variety
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of homemade products as compared to the products found in shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
which are
mass produced
Add a hyphen
mass-produced
show examples
at factories without the consideration of the consumers.
For example
, buying a scented candle from a small business owner is different from buying the same product from
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
shopping mall.
This
is because
smaller scale
Add a hyphen
smaller-scale
show examples
businesses
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
are always creating creative ways to satisfy their customers like; organising candle making classes by showing the public the process of making the candles, offering personalised packaging, sending their customers newsletters informing them of new products etc.
Furthermore
,
smaller scale
Add a hyphen
smaller-scale
show examples
businesses
have provided sources of employment for lots of people. Some people these days, do not necessarily find jobs after their higher education due to overpopulation and fewer jobs
instead
, they start up their own
businesses
to sustain themselves. If these
businesses
are not given the opportunity to thrive, lots of people would be out of jobs and
this
can contribute negatively to the economy of a nation. In conclusion, shutting down of small scale
businesses
are happening because of the continual establishments of shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
and malls which, is not necessarily a bad thing but the negative effects of losing small
businesses
is more adverse and can cripple
a nations economy
Change to a genitive case
a nation's economy
the economy of a nation
show examples
in the long term.
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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • community character
  • specialized products
  • homogenized
  • local economy
  • circulating
  • variety
  • convenient
  • social hubs
  • infrastructure
  • traffic congestion
  • pollution
  • energy consumption
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