In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

#years #shops #customers #travel #centers #malls #development

These days, shoppers now prefer to do their buying at bigger shopping

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

or malls.

As a result

, small local shops have gone out of business. In my opinion,

this

is a negative development because it would increase the unemployment rate and

also

, discourage future small business owners.

Firstly

, small

businesses

have always been extremely beneficial to the public and

this

is because they offer

variety

Add an article

a variety

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of homemade products as compared to the products found in shopping

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

which are

mass produced

Add a hyphen

mass-produced

show examples

at factories without the consideration of the consumers.

For example

, buying a scented candle from a small business owner is different from buying the same product from

the

Correct article usage

show examples

shopping mall.

This

is because

smaller scale

Add a hyphen

smaller-scale

show examples

businesses

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

are always creating creative ways to satisfy their customers like; organising candle making classes by showing the public the process of making the candles, offering personalised packaging, sending their customers newsletters informing them of new products etc.

Furthermore

smaller scale

Add a hyphen

smaller-scale

show examples

businesses

have provided sources of employment for lots of people. Some people these days, do not necessarily find jobs after their higher education due to overpopulation and fewer jobs

instead

, they start up their own

businesses

to sustain themselves. If these

businesses

are not given the opportunity to thrive, lots of people would be out of jobs and

this

can contribute negatively to the economy of a nation. In conclusion, shutting down of small scale

businesses

are happening because of the continual establishments of shopping

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

and malls which, is not necessarily a bad thing but the negative effects of losing small

businesses

is more adverse and can cripple

a nations economy

Change to a genitive case

a nation's economy

the economy of a nation

show examples

in the long term.

Submitted by ochuksemeordiblessing on Wed Mar 17 2021

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

community character
specialized products
homogenized
local economy
circulating
variety
convenient
social hubs
infrastructure
traffic congestion
pollution
energy consumption

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In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Walking is known to be beneficial for health and yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this problem?

Today people are using the things and throwing or replacing it with latest models or latest fashion. Do the advantages of throwing away society outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factor such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way.

Some people believe what children watch on TV influences their behavior. Some say it's the amount of time watching television that influences their behavior. Discuss both views and give your opinion.