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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of public health, governments should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. Do you agree or disagree?

#illness #death #world #interest #health #governments #ban #cigarettes #tobacco #products
Use
Correct article usage
The use
show examples
 of
cigarettes
 is the main reason for many diseases
all
Verify preposition usage
overall
aroundall
show examples
 the world.
Forbitting
Correct your spelling
Forbidding
 the tobaccos by
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 would be
precise
Add an article
a precise
show examples
 way for public wellness. I
definetely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 disagree with
this
 idea and I will elaborate on my opinion in
further
 paragraphs. In the world,
unfortunately
Add a comma
,unfortunately
show examples
 many
people
 have been smoking
cigarettes
 and any other smoking products. I think it is impossible to avoid that and
this
 is not
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 way
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 many reasons.
Firstly
, all
people
burns
Change the verb form
burn
show examples
 as a free human and can make her own decisions included smoking cigarette.
Secondly
, what if
this
 idea came true and government officials prohibited
use
Correct article usage
the use
show examples
 of
cigarettes
 and any
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other smoking products. It will
probbably
Correct your spelling
probably
 result in unwanted consequences like
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
 of drugs
instead
 of
cigarette
Add an article
a cigarette
show examples
. I
unterstand
Correct your spelling
understand
people
 who think that avoiding tobacco consume would be
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
 thing for humanity. But, It could conclude many ramifications as I said.
Rising
Correct article usage
The rising
show examples
 of drug
use
 would be too bad for
people
 and there are lots of example about that.
For example
, in my country, there is no any ban
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
cigarettes
 but every year there is a price increase on tobaccos and due to
this
 rising many
people
 prefer to
use
 some cheap drugs relative to
legal
Add an article
the legal
show examples
 smoking product.
Therefore
, both mental and physical health
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been in danger for
people
. In conclusion, I severely disagree with
this
 proposal and I believe that
this
 can cause reverse effects on
people
.
That is
 why
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should not think
this
Change preposition
about this
show examples
implemention
Correct your spelling
implementation
.
Submitted by tugaydemir08 on

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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