In many countries, children are engaged in some kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong. While others concider it as valuable work experience important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion on this issue

#countries #children #kinds #work #people #concider #responsibility

Nowadays, youngsters become more responsible

moreover

create a presence of workaholic mind. In many ,country offsprings are involving in a few kinds of paid task. Some people say it is wrong. Others say that it is fair.

This

will be proven by analysing. To commence with, childhood is a good time for offsprings to enjoying life.

Firstly

, they become a responsible individual. In the case of time management and stress management.

Hence

they can confidently take duty .

Secondly

, they learn the value of money at a young age,

consequently

Add a comma

,consequently

show examples

they can create a saving habit. Above all, they study social interaction. How to mingle with others especially in

work

Add an article

the work

show examples

area , society and family too.

Finally

, they become more independent.

However

, some people say it is not good. According to them,

First

of all, lose focus and interest in their studies. They mostly concentrate on

job

Add an article

the job

show examples

. So it will affect their bright future.

Secondly

, they are utilizing the money for the wrong thing at a young age.

For example

, the children as possible to addicted to the drug mafia.

Furthermore

, they may face exploit, abuse and fall as victims of harassment.

Finally

, it can lead to child labour.

This

mentally and physically affects the growth of children. To conclude, in numerous countries , children are engaged in a different type of paid effort for their study and satisfy their personal needs. It is not the wrong activity. In my opinion, they are wanted to stay independent and not stress their parents. It is a good thing.

However

, if the authority or parents are not ready to give proper guidelines it may be going in the wrong direction. So others thought should not be neglected.

Submitted by rju5294 on Thu Mar 18 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Improve your IELTS writing skills today

Unlimited Writing Checks: Practice and perfect your skills.
Detailed Error Analysis: Spot every mistake.
In-Built Grammar Checker: Say no to grammatical errors.
Personalized Suggestions: Know how to boost your score.
Progress Tracking: View your checked writing history.
Still thinking? We have a 14-day money-back guarantee. Take a leap of faith!

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
In our developing world, science has given us a lot of things, therefore, and I agree with the statement that the most important object is to enhance human lives and help them advance. In this essay, I will be discussing my point of view on the same.
4.5
band
Some countries have introduced laws to limit the working hours that an employer can ask from an employee. Why are these law introduced? Is this a positive or negative trend?
Despite the fact that in most of the countries people are working over time but they are not getting any incentives from the employers. Due to this situation, many of the countries government have imposed the law to limit the working hours of the workers. In this essays I will tend to explain the reason behind this laws as well as the merits of this trends to the public.
5
band
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
In several countries, ordinary people crave to buy their own house instead of leasing a flat. There are some reasons for the increasing desire for house possession that will be discussed in this essay.
<4
band
Some people say that the use of mobile phones should not be allowed in public places such as libraries, shops and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is often claimed that banning the use of phones in public places should be considered. Although this solution has some merits, I believe,from my perspective, smartphones should not be forbidden due to their popular usage among people and the following paragraphs will elaborate more on it.
5.5
band
Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?
These days, as the population is growing, the number of applicants for different jobs is increasing as well. In this essay, we are going to look at possible difficulties that might be appeared while a competition between youngsters and experienced candidates is carried out and find a proper way to solve them.

In many countries, children are engaged in some kinds of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong. While others concider it as valuable work experience important for learning and taking responsibility. What are your opinion on this issue

Include an introduction and conclusion

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some countries have introduced laws to limit the working hours that an employer can ask from an employee. Why are these law introduced? Is this a positive or negative trend?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some people say that the use of mobile phones should not be allowed in public places such as libraries, shops and on public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? What are the solutions?