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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods. This is having a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #foods #effect #families #societies
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With the development of
economic
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
 , so many things are being changed in our daily life.
For example
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, traditional
foods
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 are disappearing day by day.
However
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, it replaced by international fast
foods
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,
such
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 as hamburger ,chips and pizza. It demonstrated a negative effect
for
Verify preposition usage
on
show examples
 both families and societies. I can't agree more .
Firstly
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, on the one hand , traditional
cuisine
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 stands for the fashion of the
country
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.
However
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, there are different types of
cuisine
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 from different places specific in
China
Use synonyms
.
For example
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 ,the people from the southwest of
China
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, they are like to eat spicy
cuisine
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 fiercely. So, hotpot is their city food and is
also
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 very famous in
China
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. When people mention the hotpot, everyone will know it comes from the southwest city ,
such
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 as Chongqing.
Consequently
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,
China
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 is a provincial with 5000 years
history
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of history
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, which that we have so many traditional
foods
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,
for example
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, when the winter comes in ,we will eat dumplings and that's a traditional food from south of
China
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. It means the family is the most important part
in
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of
show examples
 our rest of life, we have to stay with each other forever.
Therefore
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, as you can see, every item
feed
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feeds
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 behind a fashion of the area. That's all positive way.
Secondly
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, on another side , with the develop.ment of technical , we have a close connection with each
country
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 from all over the world. If
every one
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everyone
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 ate bread, hamburger ,french fries and pizza. That's not healthy for people's body.
Moreover
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, chips and hamburgers are from
the
Remove the article
apply
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west homey. There is no traditional culture
on
Change preposition
apply
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behind
Correct pronoun usage
itbehind
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 . To sum ,
up
Add the preposition
toup
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 everything that has been stated so far, I can't agree more that international
foods
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 replace traditional
cuisine
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 have a negative effect on
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
families and societies. Having traditional food can retain the science of the
country
Use synonyms
 and educate our children to learn these culture ,it means we protect the art of the
country
Use synonyms
 as well.
Submitted by crystal.xu54 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural identity
  • heritage
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • globalization
  • nutrient-rich
  • bonding
  • local cuisine
  • fast food chains
  • convenience
  • processed ingredients
  • sustainability
  • culinary traditions
  • mass-produced
  • environmental degradation
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