SOME PEOPLE SAY INTERNATIONAL SPORTS EVENTS HELP WORLD PEACE.DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

For the past decades, international sports have become our symbol of rivalry and entertainment as well as a friendship connection for oversea

coungtries

Correct your spelling

countries

. During performing

activities

Add a comma

,activities

show examples

people around the world get to know each

others

Change to a singular noun

other

show examples

and build

Remove the article

apply

show examples

better collaboration between nations.

Hence

Linking Words

, I strongly unify the opinion of the article as it has been contributing the peaceful statement to every individual.

First

Linking Words

and foremost, there are countless

advantanges

Correct your spelling

advantages

of carrying out athletics since being active can construct the muscles and strength along with level up the stamina stage as well as boost the immune system standard .

For example

Linking Words

, according to

Remove the article

apply

show examples

health research conducted by scientists, a person who is vigorously involving sports gain a higher number of flexibility and endurance compared to the unfit community.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the contributor of regularly exercising is indeed crucial for

Add an article

the

show examples

quality of human's living .

On the other hand

Linking Words

besides

Linking Words

healthcare issues, competition is one of the

circumstance

Change to a plural noun

circumstances

show examples

for linking people by the

observants

Correct your spelling

observance

of one's union. To illustrate, the setting of battling generate a feeling of amusing

thus

Linking Words

competitors are willing to

endeavor

Change the spelling

endeavour

show examples

in the game notably.

This

Linking Words

kind of situation has studied by some psychological experts, their result shows that when people are contesting with professional opponents,

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

usually

find

Change the verb form

finds

show examples

that it is interesting for them in order to explore

others's

Remove the s

others'

show examples

potential together with their limit's ability.

As a result

Linking Words

, these components

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

upgraded the status of a

passtime

Correct your spelling

pastime

pass time

and entertained

audience

Correct article usage

the audience

show examples

hence

Linking Words

Change the article

show examples

amiable surrounding is created.

Moreover

Linking Words

Remove the article

apply

show examples

society is presumed to strengthen the association. To conclude, to my way of thinking, aside from achieving a better health

maintainance

Correct your spelling

maintenance

also

Linking Words

the goal of

Remove the article

apply

show examples

bonding between

globally

Change the adverb

global

show examples

population through the fun on the account of spawning a harmonious background.

Submitted by thien on Fri Mar 19 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that develop the mind, such as reading and doing crossword puzzles. Others feel that it is important to give one's mind a rest in leisure time. Discuss
These days, whether use leisure time has sparked a heated debate. Although such an issue is contested by many, it is regarded thoroughly as both constructive and positive by a substantial number of individuals. As such, there are both merits and demerits to this trend, but I am of the opinion that the former outdoes the latter.
<4
band
Should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government, or should it be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services? Discuss the above and give your opinion using examples.
Some people believe that education and medical facilities should be provided by the government while other think that people should pay these expenditures to support the country. In my opinion, standard education and basic heathcare should be the responsibility of the government.
7
band
As global trade increase, many goods including those we use in daily basis are produced in another country and have to be transport long distance.
As global trade is on the rise nowadays, a large number of products including those we utilise on a daily basis are made in another continent and need to be exported by hundreds of miles. Indeed, everything comes with a price. However, despite the drawbacks it brings about, this movement has positively made great impacts on society.
6.5
band
It was predicted that people living in the twenty-first century would have more free time than ever before because of improvements in technology. To what extent has this prediction come true?
It is irrefutable that technology has become an inseparable part of our lives because our lives depend on it. It is argued that people of the modern age will have more leisure time than ever before due to cutting-edge technology. I agree with this thought thoroughly, as we can see due to machines and transportation systems time consumption has dramatically decreased.
<4
band
Some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in.
There are so many reasons that people search for the previous history. Firstly, some individuals have cultural beliefs that staying in a house which was previously owned by a family with so many relationship issues, it will affect and lead to many complications to the new family also. Therefore, they are very curious in searching the past information to avoid psycho social problems. Secondly, identifying quality of place as well as the sorrounding environment makes peacefull living. That is to say, if someone check the quality of land, it futher prevent negative consequences such as flooding, air pollution and etc.

SOME PEOPLE SAY INTERNATIONAL SPORTS EVENTS HELP WORLD PEACE.DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that develop the mind, such as reading and doing crossword puzzles. Others feel that it is important to give one's mind a rest in leisure time. Discuss

Should education and healthcare be free of charge and funded by the government, or should it be the responsibility of the people to pay for these services? Discuss the above and give your opinion using examples.

As global trade increase, many goods including those we use in daily basis are produced in another country and have to be transport long distance.

It was predicted that people living in the twenty-first century would have more free time than ever before because of improvements in technology. To what extent has this prediction come true?

Some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in.