Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #works #art #paintings #statues #cities #places

Arts

reflect the heritage of a country and depict the creativity of an individual. A number of people opine that the regime should invest more capital in

arts

such

as sculptures and paintings

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

to make the city beautiful.

While

many believe that financing in

arts

is a

wastage

Replace the word

waste

show examples

of money, I am of the opposite view as I believe that financing in

arts

is a good idea for the government.

Firstly

, allocating money to the development and sustenance of

arts

helps boost the economy. Art galleries can attract tourists from all over the world, generating revenue in return. When cities experience a high number of visitors,

consequently

, restaurants, hotels and travel agencies

are

Verb problem

apply

show examples

monetarily

benefited

Wrong verb form

benefit

show examples

from it, which might increase the economic growth of that region. If governments fail to support

arts

fiscally, many art galleries and Museums

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

not be able to survive.

Arts

is as important as science for the true progress of a nation.

Secondly

, it is true that works of art like colourful paintings on the walls of regular buildings and constructing sculptures and murals not only create a nice charming atmosphere of a city but

also

is an interesting way to educate the youngsters.

Furthermore

Arts

are important to alleviate crime

from

Change preposition

show examples

society and positively entertain and engage people. Research has proved that appreciating

arts

helps people relieve stress,

thus

resulting in a better place to live

Change preposition

apply

show examples

. In conclusion, it is clear to me that spending on

arts

is beneficial both for an individual and society.

Therefore

funding

arts

by the government is not squandering money.

Submitted by mayur.gupta44 on Sun Mar 21 2021

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coherence cohesion

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

263 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that money is one of the most essential factors in promoting happiness.Do you think people can be happy without much money?What other factors contribute toward happiness.

Some people say History is one of most important school subjects other people think that, in today world,subject like science and technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss these views and give your own opinion.

Some students prefer to live with their parents while pursuing university education. However, others stay away from parents what are advantages and disadvantages of living in either way?

When asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?