Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #money #works #art #paintings #statues #cities #places

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Arts

reflect the heritage of a country and depict the creativity of an individual. A number of people opine that the regime should invest more capital in sculptures and paintings

Correct word choice

apply

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to make the city beautiful.

However

, many believe that financing

Change preposition

apply

show examples

such

crafts is a waste of money. I completely agree with the former view for the following reasons.

Firstly

, allocating money to the development and sustenance of

arts

helps boost the economy. Art galleries can attract tourists from all over the world, generating revenue in return.

This

is because when cities experience a high number of visitors,

consequently

, restaurants, hotels and travel agencies

are

Verb problem

apply

show examples

monetarily

benefited

Wrong verb form

benefit

show examples

from it, which might increase the economic growth of that region. If governments fail to support

arts

fiscally, many art galleries and Museums

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

not be able to survive.

Therefore

, it is as important as science for the true progress of a nation.

Secondly

, it is true that works of art like colourful paintings on the walls of regular buildings and constructing sculptures and murals not only create a nice charming atmosphere of a city but

also

is an interesting way to educate the youngsters.

Furthermore

Arts

are important to alleviate crime

from

Change preposition

show examples

society and positively entertain and engage people.

For instance

, a survey conducted by The British Government found that many pieces of research have proved that appreciating

arts

helps people relieve stress.

Thus

resulting in a better place to live in. In conclusion, it is clear to me that spending on

arts

is beneficial both for an individual and society.

Therefore

funding

arts

by the government is not squandering money.

Submitted by mayur.gupta44 on Sun Mar 21 2021

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph flows logically from the previous one, and use linking words and phrases to create cohesive and coherent text.

task response

Provide a clearer introduction that states your position clearly and briefly outlines the main points you will cover in the essay. Additionally, ensure that the conclusion sums up your main points and restates your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

270 words

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Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people say that cooking and eating at home is better for individuals and the family than eating out in restaurants or canteens. Do you agree or disagree?

Some parents think that helping their children with homework is a good idea. Others believe children should do their homework on their own. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Compared to the past, more people are now studying abroad because it is more convenient and cheaper than before. Do you think this is beneficial to the foreign student’s home country?

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?