Some people believe that to give opportunities to the new generation companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #opportunities #generation #companies #level #employees

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, some people are of the opinion that,

top level

Add a hyphen

top-level

show examples

workers in organisations who are older than 55 years, should be supported to retire in order to give more opportunities to the younger

generation

Use synonyms

. I disagree with

this

Linking Words

point of view as I believe that, the older

employees

Use synonyms

are valuable assets and they

also

Linking Words

have an important role to play in the lives of the new

generation

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, older

employees

Use synonyms

should not be encouraged to retire if they are not willing to.

For example

Linking Words

, these people have sacrificed their time, their youth and

also

Linking Words

used their talents to achieve the feat to become

high level

Add a hyphen

high-level

show examples

employees

Use synonyms

Overtime

Correct your spelling

Over time

show examples

they have added value Into making the organisation through hard

work

Use synonyms

and diligence to make it successful

hence

Linking Words

, their role at the helms of affairs

therefore

Linking Words

, their retirement should be their decision to make.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the younger

generation

Use synonyms

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

a lot to learn from older

employees

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, these

top level

Add a hyphen

top-level

show examples

staffs probably worked at a time when technology was still budding and

therefore

Linking Words

, they did not have to depend on the internet for the

informations

Change the wording

information

pieces of information

show examples

needed to achieve

success

Add an article

the success

show examples

which I think the new

generation

Use synonyms

can learn from because these days, they rely on the internet for every solution without putting real thought or hard

work

Use synonyms

into their jobs. I think they should earn the opportunities rather than have

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

handed to them at the expense of hardworking individuals that have paved the way for them . To conclude, the older

generation

Use synonyms

should be viewed as important in the

Use synonyms

work force

Correct your spelling

workforce

show examples

because the outcome of the new

generation

Use synonyms

in terms of

work

Use synonyms

ethic and thinking capabilities depend on it. In my

opinion

Add a comma

,opinion

show examples

I think it is rather unfair to encourage older

employees

Use synonyms

to retire if they are not willing to.

Submitted by ochuksemeordiblessing on Sun Mar 21 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
The decline in the amount of time people dedicate to hobbies in contemporary society can be attributed to various factors. This shift has repercussions both at the individual and societal levels.
<4
band
Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some individuals argue that internet platforms, like Facebook or Twitter have a bad sides for the young. Others consider that social media have a benefit sides to bring people together. In my opinion social media has own advantage as well as disadvantages.
7.5
band
Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can AI enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development
To derive a double benefit from anything is considered a bonus, and this is especially the case when discussing leisure life for children. The idea to fuse both education and entertainment into one activity is a goal of many educators; some would even believe that failure to do this makes the activity pointless. Drawing from examples in Sweden and reviewing games, such as Pokemon, I firmly believe that all activities should have an educational value.
7
band
Today food often travels thousands of miles from the farm to the consumer. Some people believe it would be better for the environment and the economy if people only ate food produced by local farmers. Would the advantages of this idea outweigh the disadvantages?
Access to nutritious food is essential for maintaining health and well-being. In current times, food usually comes from plantations to consumers over long distances. A group of individuals think that citizens should consume the food that is provided by regional growers as it would be helpful for both the environment and the economy. In my perspective, the disadvantages of this though are greater than the advantages, and the reasons for my viewpoint will be discussed in the forthcoming paragraphs.
5.5
band
Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. others think that it is better to work for different organisations. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People can be split into two groups. Some tend to have a job in the same place all their life, others prefer to change often.

Some people believe that to give opportunities to the new generation companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?

Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people believe that social media sites, such as Facebook or Twitter, have a negative impact on young people and their ability to form personal relationships. Others believe that these sites bring people together in a beneficial way. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Computers and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can AI enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development

Today food often travels thousands of miles from the farm to the consumer. Some people believe it would be better for the environment and the economy if people only ate food produced by local farmers. Would the advantages of this idea outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. others think that it is better to work for different organisations. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.