IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The death penalty should be available as a punishment for serious crimes. To what extent do you agree?

#death #penalty #punishment #crimes
There have been a lot of debates in the past years on the topic of criminal punishments and
one
 of them has been the
death
penalty
.
Although
 there are experts and political leaders who have supported either side of
this
 coin, I strongly agree that
justice
 through the
death
 of the offender is the right decision.
Life
 is the most wonderful present
one
 can get. Taking away
this
 blessing not only ruins the victim's
life
 but the
one
's related to the individual as well. It creates a wound for which any amount of time wouldn't is enough to heal. It can leave families hurt and torn apart but seeing
justice
 being provided can usher hope in them.
This
justice
 can be in the form of the
death
penalty
.
Life
 is the most wonderful present
one
 can get. Taking away
this
 blessing not only ruins the
vicitms
Correct your spelling
victims
victim's
victim
life
 but the
one
's related to the
indivual
Correct your spelling
individual
 as well. It creates a wound for which any amount of time
would'nt
Correct your spelling
wouldn't
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 enough to heal. It can leave families hurt and torn apart but seeing
justice
 being provided can usher
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hope in them.
This
justice
 can be in the form of
death
Add an article
the death
show examples
penalty
.
Life
 is the most wonderful present
one
 can get. Taking away
this
 blessing not only ruins the
vicitms
Correct your spelling
victims
victim's
victim
life
 but the
one
's related to the
indivual
Correct your spelling
individual
 as well. It creates a wound for which any amount of time
would'nt
Correct your spelling
wouldn't
be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 enough to heal. It can leave families hurt and torn apart but seeing
justice
 being provided can usher
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hope in them.
This
justice
 can be in the form of
death
Add an article
the death
show examples
penalty
.
Submitted by Jay Arora on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: